The Ultimate Guide To Writing Better Than You Normally Do

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Not too serious writing advice from McSweeney’s: (this is #1 out of 10)

Writing is a muscle. Smaller than a hamstring and slightly bigger than a bicep, and it needs to be exercised to get stronger. Think of your words as reps, your paragraphs as sets, your buy cheap meds pages as daily workouts. Think of your laptop as a machine like the one at the gym where you open and close your inner thighs in front of everyone, exposing both your insecurities and your genitals. Because that is what writing is all about.

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3 comments

  1. When I first decided to be an English major, someone told me that the best thing I could do was to write, keep writing, and then rewrite. As I continue with my education, I am realizing how true that really is. Thanks for sharing this!

  2. I’ve never thought to compare writing as a muscle. It was very clever of you to do that. This definitely was great advice!

  3. Oh. My. God. I love this. This sentence in particular had me choking on laughter: “Think of your laptop as a machine like the one at the gym where you open and close your inner thighs in front of everyone, exposing both your insecurities and your genitals. Because that is what writing is all about.”

    YES.

    I love the way you divulge crucial information while incorporating humor. I love the section about asking for feedback. This cannot be stressed enough, even though humans as a whole despise criticism.

    Also, all of this is gold: “A writer’s brain is full of little gifts, like a piñata at a birthday party. It’s also full of demons, like a piñata at a birthday party in a mental hospital. The truth is, it’s demons that keep a tortured writer’s spirit alive, not Tootsie Rolls. Sure they’ll give you a tiny burst of energy, but they won’t do squat for your writing. So treat your demons with the respect they deserve, and with enough prescriptions to keep you wearing pants.”

    Thank you! For the knowledge and the giggle!