This is not your typical list of fatherhood books. You’re not going to find any of those cleverly titled books like “My Boys Can Swim!” or anything with “emergency” or “idiot” in the title. What you will find is a carefully curated list that represents my knowledge on the subject. Which is, admittedly, limited. Especially since my first children (yes, plural) will be arriving in August. But on the other hand, at least I’ve been reading on the topic recently.
Without further adieu, a list of six books:
“Fear and Trembling” Soren Kierkegaard
No other book has so fully honored and extolled the love of a father to a son. In this case the father is Abraham and the son is Isaac. Yes, there was that matter of a sacrifice. Which is precisely what makes this book ring so powerfully — the tension between a man’s love for God and his love for his son. It shows the paradoxical truth that fathers cannot love their children fully until they are willing to give them up.
“Cheaper by the Dozen” Frank Bunker Gilbreth, Jr
Don’t mistake this for the Hollywood movie, which was a complete bastardization of an excellent book. In the book, a brilliant but eccentric father works on educating his children in unorthodox ways, such as playing language learning tapes at all hours of the night and making them memorize algorithms so they could multiple vast sums in their heads faster than calculators. It’s a lovely (nonfiction) paean to a man fully concentrated on the education of his children, and it’s funny to boot.
“What is a Family” Edith Schaeffer
Ever wondered how to structure a family unit? Edith Schaeffer methodically instructs how to develop traditions, create happy memories, and honor sick family members. It’s not self-helpy in any way — her sophistication and thoughtfulness both of language and of concept will quickly earn your trust.
“The Road” Cormac McCarthy
I wanted at least one fictional title to be on this list, but most fictional fathers are deadbeats. This is one honorable father whose sacrificial love for his son should inspire any father to be. A father guides his son through an apocalyptic wasteland in which all moral compasses have gone haywire. Yes, there’s cannibalism and rape, but can anyone be sure they won’t have to guide their children through worse?
“Bringing up Bebe” Pamela Druckerman
So this one is my nod to current, accessible books on parenting. On the heels of the “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” comes a refreshing look at French parenting skills which places adults above children and encourages discipline and patience. It’s a sensible read and very practical. Plus, think how much your wife will love you when you break out knowledge on French parenting styles (in a Parisian accent, of course.)
“The Modernization of Fatherhood: A Social and Political History” Ralph LaRossa
Get historical context. How has the role of fathers changed over the last century? How were most of our current social expectations for fathers created in the crucible between WWI and WWII, and what does that mean for us? How has the evolution of gender roles redefined the role of the father?
