One of the most difficult scenes to write is a kissing scene, or really any scene when when things get hot and heavy.
Writers worry about being too obscene (will my mother read this?), or even worse, not vulgar enough (no one wants to be labeled a prude).
Humans are private creatures when it comes to lust, and illustrating an intimate scene can still make the most seasoned writer nervous.
The perfect kissing scene is found smack dab between these two adjectives in the title — steamy and sophisticated — as it is the balance of coy and crude that can develop into a beautiful scene.
In order to craft the perfect kissing scene, it is important to look back on the work of others in order to see what works. I’m going to give you two examples and explain why both of them work.
Wait one second:
All writers absolutely need to read the best post I’ve ever written: “12 Steps to Write a Bestselling Novel.”
Pause on your obsession with kissing and plunge headlong into the best guide post on novel writing.
You won’t regret it.
Dolphin-Slippery Kissing in Sophie’s Choice
Considered by many to be William Styron’s magnum opus, this story chronicles the friendship between a young Southern writer and a polish Auschwitz survivor. In this scene the young writer, affectionally named Stingo, is observing a painting beside a young jewish girl named Leslie.
“In the shadows her face was so close to mine that I could smell the sweet ropy fragrance of the sherry she had been drinking, and then her tongue was in my mouth. In all truth I had not invited this prodigy of a tongue; turning, I had merely wished to look at her face, expecting only that the expression of aesthetic delight I might find there would correspond to what I knew was my own. But I did not even catch a glimpse of her face, so instantaneous and urgent was that tongue. Plunged like some writhing sea-shape into my gaping maw, it all but overpowered my senses as it sought some unreachable terminus near my uvula; it wiggled, it pulsated, and made contortive sweeps of my mouth’s vault: I’m certain that at least once it turned upside down. Dolphin-slippery, less wet than rather deliciously mucilaginous and tasting of Amontillado, it had the power in itself to force me, or somehow get me back, against a doorjamb, where I lolled helpless with my eyes clenched shut, in a trance of tongue.”
In this selection Styron’s masterful description keeps the reader glued to the page for every swirl of young Leslie’s tongue. So let’s analyze what exactly worked …
Styron uses the element of surprise to initiate this kissing scene. The main character is still in the process of describing the odor of Ms. Leslie when she startles him with a kiss. By abruptly launching into the kiss mid-sentence, Styron is able to catch his readers off-guard. This helps allow the reader to experience the shock of an unexpected peck.
Another use of Styron’s unpredictable writing style centers around the metaphors and similes that take the reader by surprise with their effectiveness.
Who would of expected that describing a tongue as a “writhing sea-shape” trying to squirm its way out the back of your head would actually work? Or that, keeping with the nautical theme, Styron would be able to make it sound natural when he illustrates a tongue as “dolphin-slippery”?
Yet these depictions are such colorfully unconventional ways to describe the act of kissing, that they actually work despite their less-than-arousing sound.
Let’s take a look at another iconic kiss scene.
Star-Struck Kissing in The Great Gatsby
In “The Great Gatsby,” Fitzgerald’s story about wealthy Jay Gatsby’s ill-fated infatuation with the already married Daisy Buchanan, this scene describes a kiss between the two on a cool moonlight night.
“His heart beat faster and faster as Daisy’s white face came up to his own. He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips’ touch she blossomed like a flower and the incarnation was complete.”
What makes this scene so compelling is the distinct and bizarre analogy Fitzgerald employs in order to describe the moment. A tuning fork struck upon a star? That’s utterly unique.
But remember that the majority of this kissing scene is the anticipation before the kiss. This is what writers most often forget. They go straight to the physical action and forget that the literary foreplay is the majority of the pleasure.
His figurative language in the second sentence makes the process of leaning in for this kiss almost metaphysical, as the speaker explains how this kiss will act as an act of therapy to cure all of the anxieties that plagued his mind.
In Fitzgerald, a kiss is never just a kiss.
It can be a cure, an epiphany, a disaster, a transformation.
Kiss & Tell: 7 Takeaways From These Kisses
So what have we learned by analyzing these two scenes side by side?
- Metaphors are key.
- Spend some time describing in straightforward language what is happening, but don’t shy away from using strange and unusual metaphors for a kissing scene.
- Build maximum tension before the kiss begins.
- Don’t rush. Only bad writers treat a kissing scene as just the physical action between two sets of lips. A true kissing scene is the tension between two people before the kiss, the psychology during the kiss, and the reactions afterwards.
- Pay attention to psychology.
- A kissing scene isn’t just about the physical act of kissing. It’s really about the relationship between these two characters. What are they thinking? What do they really want (and it’s not always sex. It could be a connection, it could be avoiding the feeling of loneliness).
- Treat the act of kissing as an entire narrative, with a beginning, rising action, and climax.
- There is the early sexual tension, the physical act of lips meeting, and the climax can come either in the character’s thoughts about the kiss or in what they do after they’ve separated from each other (like the lightening in the Jane Eyre example below).
- Have your kissing scene be a revelation.
- Both in Gatsby and in the Siddhartha example below, the act of kissing becomes something more: it becomes a kind of revelation, an epiphany. Don’t be afraid to have your kissing scene lead your character into a profound realization.
- Think about the experiences of both your characters.
- Is one enjoying it and the other hating it? Is one overthinking it and the other swept up in the passion?
- Have the Kisser be an Unreliable Narrator
- In the Lolita example below, you will find an example of a kissing scene where you don’t trust the person describing the kissing. In Humbert Humbert’s version of the kiss, 12-year-old Lolita is the instigator of the kiss. But can we really trust his version of events?
ALERT:
Yes, your kissing scenes will be brilliant now, but what about the rest of your story?
Get amazing guidance on how to write a novel, from organizing your plot to creating your characters. It will be the best read of your writing career.
Click that link above and your life will be separated into before/after.
5 Bonus Kissing Scenes
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Before she could withdraw her mind from its far places, his arms were around her, as sure and hard as on the dark road to Tara, so long ago. She felt again the rush of helplessness, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth that left her limp. And the quiet face of Ashley Wilkes was blurred and drowned to nothingness. He bent back her head across his arm and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth was parting her shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And before a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she knew that she was kissing him back.
Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse
She drew him toward her with her eyes, he inclined his face toward hers and lay his mouth on her mouth, which was like a freshly split-open fig. For a long time he kissed Kamala, and Siddhartha was filled with deep astonishment as she taught him how wise she was, how she ruled him, put him off, lured him back… each one different from the other, still awaiting him. Breathing deeply, he remained standing and at this moment he was like a child astonished by the abundance of knowledge and things worth learning opening up before his eyes.
Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides
The rims of Clementine’s eyes were inflamed. She yawned. She rubbed her nose with the heel of her hand. And then she asked, “Do you want to practice kissing?”
I didn’t know what to answer. I already knew how to kiss, didn’t I? Was there something more to learn? But while these questions were going through my head, Clementine was going ahead with the lesson. She came around to face me. With a grave expression she put her arms around my neck.
The necessary special effects are not in my possession, but what I’d like for you to imagine is Clementine’s white face coming close to mine, her sleepy eyes closing, her medicine-sweet lips puckering up, and all the other sounds of the world going silent — the rustling of our dresses, her mother counting leg lifts downstairs, the airplane outside making an exclamation mark in the sky — all silent, as Clementine’s highly educated, eight-year-old lips met mine.
And then, somewhere below this, my heart reacting.
Not a thump exactly. Not even a leap. But a kind of swish, like a frog kicking off from a muddy bank. My heart, that amphibian, moving that moment between two elements: one, excitement; the other, fear. I tried to pay attention. I tried to hold up my end of things. But Clementine was way ahead of me. She swiveled her head back and forth the way actresses did in the movies. I started doing the same, but out of the corner of her mouth she scolded, “You’re the man.” So I stopped. I stood stiffly with arms at my sides. Finally Clementine broke off the kiss. She looked at me blankly a moment, and then responded, “Not bad for your first time.”
Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov
Hardly had the car come to a standstill than Lolita positively flowed into my arms. Not daring, not daring let myself go — not even daring let myself realize that this (sweet wetness and trembling fire) was the beginning of the ineffable life which, ably assisted by fate, I had finally willed into being — not daring really kiss her, I touched her hot, opening lips with the utmost piety, tiny sips, nothing salacious; but she, with an impatient wriggle, pressed her mouth to mine so hard that I felt her big front teeth and shared in the peppermint taste of her saliva. I knew, of course, it was but an innocent game on her part, a bit of backfisch foolery in imitation of some simulacrum of fake romance, and since (as the psychotherapist, as well as the rapist, will tell you) the limits and rules of such girlish games are fluid, or at least too childishly subtle for the senior partner to grasp — I was dreadfully afraid I might go too far and cause her to start back in revulsion and terror.
Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte
The rain rushed down. He hurried me up the walk, through the grounds, and into the house; but we were quite wet before we could pass the threshold. He was taking off my shawl in the hall, and shaking the water out of my loosened hair, when Mrs. Fairfax emerged from her room. I did not observe her at first, nor did Mr. Rochester. The lamp was lit. The clock was on the stroke of twelve.
“Hasten to take off your wet things,” said he; “and before you go, good- night — good-night, my darling!”
He kissed me repeatedly. When I looked up, on leaving his arms, there stood the widow, pale, grave, and amazed. I only smiled at her, and ran upstairs. “Explanation will do for another time,” thought I. Still, when I reached my chamber, I felt a pang at the idea she should even temporarily misconstrue what she had seen. But joy soon effaced every other feeling; and loud as the wind blew, near and deep as the thunder crashed, fierce and frequent as the lightning gleamed, cataract-like as the rain fell during a storm of two hours’ duration, I experienced no fear and little awe. Mr. Rochester came thrice to my door in the course of it, to ask if I was safe and tranquil: and that was comfort, that was strength for anything.
Before I left my bed in the morning, little Adele came running in to tell me that the great horse-chestnut at the bottom of the orchard had been struck by lightning in the night, and half of it split away.
139 comments
How does it feel to really kiss?
Its like opening up your soul, tasting feeling and seeing every colour of the rainbow in their own sensual way, almost like catching a smile in a bottle, its softness, its sweetness… Like breathing in the person like a cool inhalation of oxygen to warm the soul.. Like nothing in the world exist but u and the person… This feeling like ur levitating off the ground floating in the air… What ur feeling cannot be put into words, nor has there get been any part of speech or figure of speech invented to describe it.. Its like an aphrodisiac, mixed with a Pandoras box effect , fireworks glowing inside u from the touch of the persons lips on u.
Woah, dude. That’s deeper than any of the kissing scenes in the article.
That was beautiful.
Wow. That’s quite deep.
Kissing feels like pressing your lips against slightly slimy cardboard and waiting to get on with the reasoning behind the kiss
You should write a book
Wooaaaahhhhhh…. that is some deep stuff but I do find myself agreeing with you.
Love it, you have enlightened me, now back to work and this time I know i need to engage senses
Damn. I’m shook from how deep that was.
that was beautiful…
this was so beautifully written it made me tear up and crave to feel it firsthand
*ahem* could I use this for the book I’m writing because I have no other ideas??
i ask the same thing cause i havnt experienced
It feels as if your whole world has been waiting for this moment. As if all the love inside your soul, as well as your body (with the right person) combine into lust and passion. The feeling of a good kiss is when your person your kissing wraps their arms around you, you feel as if you were safe but are complete aware of how you look, and wanting to impress them. A TRUE GOOD KISS, is the feeling when you feel sick to the stomach but strong as well. That, Sadie, is what I consider to be a good kiss.
I think how it feels, is when they lean in and look you in the eyes, before their lips fall on yours. The feeling of love and passion fills your soul. As if that kiss was meant to be yours. As if the person and you were meant to kiss. When that person grabs you and holds you close and kisses you so passionately, it makes you feel safe and completely venerable to that person. You feel as if your body will explode with the feeling of happiness, the feeling of being rarely safe in the persons hold. As if this pacific person was meant for you. And when it’s over, you just know. No kiss will ever compare. That is a real kiss. To me at least, Sadie.
She leads me to a small clearing. I see the starlight, those beautiful pinpricks of light in the infinite dark expanse of the universe. “Wow…” I stutter. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” she asks, slipping behind me. She hugs me around the waist, and I cringe instinctively away from the unexpected contact. “It’s… stunning” I grasp desperately for the correct word. “Turn around, I have one more surprise” she commands. I turn around, and all I see is her, her vibrant, fiery hair glowing with the silver cascade of the moonlight, the glow of the stars in her amber eyes, her delicate smile and the deep blushing on her face. “You were right, babe, it’s beautiful” I say, and her cheeks redden further. “There’s more” she says, and leans in quickly. Her lips touch mine gently and affectionately. My mind immediately crowds with a million thoughts, but I push them away for the moment, desiring nothing more than to enjoy this moment. Almost immediately, she recoils shyly and blushes uncontrollably. I stand in shock, the swarm of thoughts flowing into my mind. She begins to retreat, fearing that she may have taken things too far, too quickly. I move quickly to her, brushing away her hair. I lean in and gently guide her head toward mine. Our kiss lasts mere moments, but it feels great. Thousands of thoughts are forced away to make room for one single idea. Hold on to this moment forever. I release and rest my forehead against hers. “I love you, babe.” I say, barely more than a whisper. She blushes more. “I love you too” she whispers. Our lips connect once more. Each moment, the feeling of her soft, perfect lips becomes more and more provocative. It is in this moment that I truly realize that I am hers and she is mine. I was meant for this, I was meant for her. This is the first time that I have ever felt that I truly belong. I swear to god, we actually transversed the infinite planes to one in which time does not exist, because I am sure that if we were in the world, my passion for her would be enough to stop time, to hold this moment, to hold her, for ever. I wish to stretch this moment out into a thousand, just to feel her body against mine. She is Ember, she is my Ember, and I belong entirely to her. The world is gone, and we float through an infinite expanse of nothing, just the two of us, Abby and Ember. We love each other and that’s all that we need. We can stay here through all time and eternity. Sadly, the world of the living was not done with us yet. We release our lip lock. “That was… that felt amazing…” I stumble for words again. “I love you, Abby” she says, and I lay down on the ground. She sets her head on my breasts. After hours of thinking, I finally accept the embrace of sleep.
@Sadie and some others asking what a kiss feels like:
You are, very understandably, asking the wrong question. A kiss is never just a kiss. It’s the circumstances that determine what kissing feels like (and the meaning of the kiss is where your story lies). The first time I kissed a boy, I did it because I wanted to know what it would be like. I’d just turned 13 and worldly deciding it was time, but then the kiss turned out to be a huge disappointment. Wet, gross, my nose awkwardly bumping into his; it wasn’t what I’d imagined at all. The way my classmate’s tongue swirled in my mouth reminded me of the spinning cycle of a laundry machine. Was this what the fuss was all about? I wasn’t in such a hurry to grow up after that.
Fast forward to my first real party as a freshman in college where I kissed a man to distract him from his efforts to rape me. He’d drugged me and I woke up as he was taking my clothes off. I asked him to stop, but he didn’t. The ice-cold fear shooting through my veins overruled the nauseating revulsion of his unwelcome mouth on mine as I frantically bought myself time to think up an escape.
Every kiss in my life was different. I clearly remember the first kiss by a man I was deeply in love with despite my resignation that he would probably never want me. I barely registered the shock of his warm lips on mine because my world imploded, a signal sounded and doors closed between us. When the train slowly left the station, I couldn’t even feel my legs and floated to my seat in the happiest of dazes.
I’ve trembled in fear when I could no longer deny a man who’d been patient through many dates with me. I was terrified a kiss might lead to real feelings for him because I was nowhere near ready for a relationship and the impulse to flee, to actually run out of my own apartment, was battering at me but I locked my knees and braved the kiss anyway.
Speaking of knees: they gave out when my secret lover kissed me behind a curtain at a very public party as he whispered promises in my ear about what would follow later that night.
I’ve hated the kisses that I felt obligated to give, the taste of them like overripe oranges. But I’ve also begged for kisses from the men I loved, both for sloppy ones in the shower and sunlit ones in the morning. I’ve danced like a stripper after midnight to gain the affections of complete strangers when I was drunkenly trying to get over an ex, the anonymous arms around me healing the crumpled pieces of me fearing I’d never be noticed again. Sometimes I missed a man so much, kissing him felt like I was taking my first full breath in days. I’ve tearfully kissed men goodbye. One kiss shattered me with the sudden realisation that the man I loved meant for it to be the last. I’ve steeled myself for kisses intending to leave all my walls firmly intact, deliberately concentrating on perfect technique instead. I’ve kissed men intending a quick peck only to be swept up in a wave of heat. Last year I said “I do” before kissing my husband, all the while gripping his hands- both to let him know I truly meant it and to hold on for dear life. You’d think that almost 2 decades’ worth of kisses would qualify me to tell you what it really feels like, but I couldn’t possibly. Because a kiss is never just a kiss. Trust me on this. A kiss can be a pledge of love or a declaration of war, and sometimes it’s both.
Some writers reduce kissing to a purely physical act, and the result is a bad scene because kissing simply isn’t. Walking or cycling or eating an apple tends to feel roughly the same every time. Why? Because basic stuff like eating or moving from point A to point B usually doesn’t MEAN very much (unless it’s the first time walking after losing your legs in a car accident or there’s suddenly a worm in your apple on a bad day). Kisses never really feel the same because they always mean something. Even if it’s just a hasty smack and a “drive safe” between a husband and a wife, a kiss means something.
I think it’s helpful to see kissing as a way to communicate. Think about it: you never really have the same conversation twice either. If someone were to ask you; “what does talking really feel like?”, you’d probably pause. Because talking is never just… talking. Sure, you’re moving your lips, forming words, noises come out, language is chosen, but that’s not what it FEELS like to have a conversation, nor what a conversation is really about. What talking feels like depends rather heavily on the situation and the person you’re having the conversation with. Kissing is just like that; it’s interaction. It’s human connection. That’s why metaphors work so well when describing kisses. I never really know where my hands are during a kiss, but my brain always automatically processes what the kiss means. So when writing, I’d prioritise meaning over logistics and even sensory input every time. Without meaning, your readers won’t feel much either. Ask yourself: why does this kiss matter to these characters?
Also: never underestimate a hug or a brush of fingers or other non-verbal interactions. With the right meaning attached, they can be ridiculously powerful. I think it’s one of the great misconceptions of our time that we seem to think that only stuff in the bedroom counts. Also quite idiotic: all the times we label that same stuff as ‘casual’. It rarely ever is.
Just my 2 cents as I’m trying to figure out how to work the first kiss in the story I’m writing. I thought the article was really helpful. It reminded me of the basic fact that the meaning of the kiss always takes precedence.
Oh wWOOOOOOWWWW!! NOW THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. This is beautiful.
God, I needed to write a comment after reading such an enlightening comment. Thank you so much for your thorough examples and explanations, know that somewhere on this planet someone will keep this in mind when they write their kissing scene <3
It depends a lot on the person.
I personally do not feel much stimulated by kissing, for me my partner’s stimulation turns me on af.
It feels warm, soft & very intimate.
Kissing is like communicating with your partner. It makes you feel certain emotions you have never felt before. It is like connecting with your partner’s soul, and feeling the warmth of your partner’s breath. It helps build a stronger bond with your partner, and makes them feel welcomed.
I think it’s like a really awkward moment of sucking face.
Your breath is all entangled (you can’t breath well because you’re so close) and you’re choosing to trust your partners oral hygiene (like don’t they ask themselves??)
But my friends in relationships say it’s addictive.
In truth, a little awkward. A chaste kiss is just a mouth against a mouth – warm, but not really something one has to get very descriptive about. Open-mouthed kisses without tongue are probably my favorite (wow, I never thought of that until now, actually!) because they’re not as invasive as a kiss with tongue but not as chaste as a closed-mouth kiss. This kiss feels soft, unless there’s lip biting involved (which is hot until someone starts bleeding). Warm, of course. It’s almost like a caress. As for kisses with a lot of tongue, I can’t be trusted to describe such a kiss without letting my bias show significantly.
I’m very late to this party, but this is a great article! It definitely helped me while writing these type of scene’s in my story and the examples given from stories were also very helpful.
what’s your story?
So you think that YOU’RE late? I am like late late lol. but nevertheless, the article was helpful no matter how late people come to it.
Yo, you think YOU’RE late? If you’re late late – I’m late late late late late! Gotta agree though, this article has helped out my writing loads.
You think YOU’RE late? if you’re late late late late late, I’m late late late late late late late! Yeah, this helped though
You think YOU’RE late?
You think You’re late? If you’re….. oh, never mind.
I agree with all, this is a fantastic article and has literally just helped my kissing/love-making scene. Thank you.
lmfao what?
Oh, you poor, oblivious souls. These days, Late takes poor, unsuspecting humans and infects them with the plague you know as the opposite of “punctuality”. No cure has been found for Late, unfortunately.
So this is part of a musical that I wrote for fun but…. So Kate and Thomas are married and she has been abused in the past so she locks him in the bathroom once she sees the bed because she gets scared. He escapes through the door that leads outside and has made his way back into the room
(Thomas tries to sneak away but Kate spots him)
Kate(spoken): T-Thomas….. I—– (turns away as if to leave)
Thomas(running over to her and kissing her, silencing the apology. She pulls back and he lets her): Shhhh…..it’s okay. He did more than just shove you a couple times didn’t he? What did he do to you? I want to know everything.
( Kate stares at her hands)
Kate (whispered): Knives can fly
(Thomas takes her hands in his and rubs them tenderly in a circular motion): Look I can wait until you’re ready to talk but I’m also not leaving this room until you tell me everywhere he hurt you and how he did it.
Kate(whispered): okay
(Her shoulders are trembling and he grabs them gently but firmly to steady them)
Thomas( soothing): now where do you want to start?
……
So the musical continues and he gets her to tell him everything. She is also subconsciously buttoning her blue jean jacket up as she talks
……
* so to make this easier I’m turning the rest into a story format on here*
Thomas shakes his head in anger,” that man better be praising the Lord that he is in jail because if not HE’D BE DEAD. Kate begins to tremble and pulls away.”Thomas, please you’re scaring me,”
Thomas relaxes and a look of worry crosses his face. “Sorry baby, I just got a little mad. Look I can sleep on the couch until you’re ready” he starts to leave but she stops him
“Don’t” her voice is steady now, no longer afraid.
“We don’t have to, baby” he again goes to leave but she stops him again.
” Please,” she kisses him and he immediately pulls back, worry written all over his face.
” Katy-cat”
” I want to ” (I can’t italicize but the want is emphasized) she kisses him again. Thomas pulls back and stares her in the eyes, ” are you sure?”
She hesitates the fear visible in her eyes for a brief second before determination takes over. ” Yes….just….go slow”
His voice grows gentle but firm as he says ” okay. If you start to panic, I’m gonna stop immediately and go sleep on the couch. Deal?”
“Yes” Thomas scoots closer and starts to unbutton her jacket.
[The stage darkens. The last thing visible is Kate’s jacket falling to the floor]
That’s really good. Great job!!
Thanks….really helped..
I’m 15 writing my first novel that is romance but fiction based….looking for someone to sponsor me to act it probably during the August holiday.
17 and working on my own stuff my dude. Keep writing, be as consistent as you can manage. You got this.
15 and writing a novel too. It’s nice to see all the positivity around
14 and trying but keep getting distracted. I am hoping all of you get it done and published.
17 and about to write a romantic and dangerously feisty scene. Helping a ton!
13 and trying as well. It’s a fantasy but there’s lots of romance :happy-face:
I write books in my free time, and they’re romance books, so yeah, this article was pretty useful for future references, thanks so much. does anyone know how to get a book published?
Honestly, anything that uses the phrase ‘gaping maw’ and ‘dolphin slippery’ should not be used as a template for a good kiss scene. Unless you’re into making out with Lovecraftian monsters those aren’t phrases you use to describe kissing. Vore, maybe. Kissing, no.
Thank you. I read that and my nose wrinkled like “whaaaa???” Is it surprising, yes. Is it a scene that would make a reader sigh in bliss. Absolutely no. Wow. That is a descriptor I would 100% stay away from.
Damn it was just mind blowing!!
Yessssss @TheBoi yesssss! Like yesssssssssssssss
“Are you going to be okay?” I whispered.
“Yeah. Let’s just get it over with.” She took off her sweater.
“Okay.” I breathed. She wrapped her arms around my neck and teased me with her big green eyes. “Okay,” I repeated.
I awkwardly put my arms around her waist. We stared into each other’s eyes for an awkward second. I leaned down, and she brought her head up. Our lips connected.
She deepened the kiss. With one hand, she took the hat off my head and dropped it on the ground. She ran her hands through my dark pink hair. I had dyed it because I constantly had trouble with being kind. I had little sympathy for people, so the color pink reminded me that some people do hurt like I do. It reminded me to have compassion for others.
I got made fun of a lot for having such a “girly” hair color. I never listened, though. It was a decision that I made to better myself, even if I got beaten up for it.
We both shifted so that Ash was on my lap. I tugged at the bottom of her crop top. My hand slid up her spine. I felt a tremor go through her body.
My hand slid back down her spine, resting at her hip. I unconsciously tilted my head to deepen the kiss. We kissed more and more passionately by the second.
After a moment, I unintentionally slid my hand down and lightly touched her on the back of her thigh.
She stopped moving. “Stop.”
“What?” I pulled away. “What’s wrong?”
“Just stop.” She pulled away and got up. Without looking back, she ran away.
I stared after her in disbelief. It took a moment for it to click.
“Oh, no. I’m a terrible person.” I put my head in my hands.
“What did you do?” Victoria’s expression hardened.
I beckoned to her. I whispered in her ear, “I touched her where he did.”
She stared at me, horrified. “You are a terrible person.”
This is an excerpt of a story that I’m working on.
This part is when one of the main characters, Alexei, and his best friend, Ashlynn, are playing Truth or Dare with their class at a party. Before they were playing, Ashlynn got assaulted by a classmate. Alexei knocked the classmate out in an attempt to protect Ashlynn.
But anyway, Alexei gets dared to make out with Ashlynn, whom he affectionately calls “Ash.” At first he blatantly refuses, but Ashlynn insists that it doesn’t bother her, and so they make out.
Victoria is Ashlynn’s other best friend, by the way.
That’s amazing!! I’m an aspiring (fan) fiction writer and hope to actually be as good as that one day ahahaha….
Same haha, i write alot of fanfiction but i’m moving on to an actual novel soon.
wow!! me too this article helped me a lot. im 13 and i write lots of fanfictions on wattpad and kissing scenes are the hardest to write.
Damn. I want more
I’m having a hard time writing my first kissing scene. This helps lot!
ok…? once i had a dream where i was playing Spin The Bottle (not that I’d ever do that in real life) with some acquaintances of mine, and I had to kiss this one guy that i don’t like very much. it was a pretty weird dream.
Lev snickered slightly as he put his forehead to mine. Our lips were so close I could have easily kissed them. I felt his breath on my lips and closed my eyes, cherishing the moment. He leaned in closer and placed his lips upon mine. We were like that for a minute until he heated things up a little. He Kissed me harder as he gently tugged at my hair.
“L-lev!” I exclaimed, pulling away a little and gasping for air. My eyes met his and I relaxed. His Green eyes gave me a lustful look.
What do you think?
That’s cool!!!
personally i don’t believe in the zodiac, but if you use the zodiac kissing/cuddling/flirting styles that match your character it can really help, or at least i think so
here’s a part of my writing:
Bill and Ford sit on the grass. Bill presses his forehead against the side of her face. Stanford just pokes him in the cheek. Bill smiles and closes his eyes pulling Ford closer. She pushes him back a bit.
“Aw, what’s wrong?” Bill asks with a fake pout.
“Nothing.” She says softly while laying her head on his shoulder and scratching the back of his head. Bill begins to pick the wild buttercups and and evening primroses to weave a crown which he put on her head. Ford gently pecks him on the cheek and chuckles softly. He pulls her in closer again and kisses her. Her eyes widen at the surprise but she soon became familiar with his fiery aggressiveness. As they fell into the grass Stanford broke from his iron grip and started giggling.
“I know you’re incapable of fun, but you should try laughing more, its so cute.” He smiles.
She just chuckles some more. “I don’t know how to respond to that.” He grabs her chin and kisses her again, this time she expected the bite. He presses his forehead against hers and looks at her. “Your eyes are like swirling galaxies.”
“I’ve heard it before.” She says pulling his tie and poking his nose.
“I should become an an astronomer because I can’t stop studying them.” She hits him on the back of the head before giving him another peck on the cheek.
“Do you know how hard it is when you have no one to talk to? When you are the only one that is different? Do you know what it feels like when nobody is there to love you? I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Vladimir put his hand underneath my chin and made me look at him. His bright green eyes lit up by the mini him.
“No one and nobody?” I could feel his fire burn through the coldness that I was feeling. His hand that was on my chin moved to my cheek and his other moved up my arm. He trailed his fingertips on my forearm barely even touching me. It made me shiver, he didn’t look away from me when a car honked. I was scared lost in the pools of his eyes, I didn’t know if I wanted my first kiss to be with the person I’m not even supposed to be attracted to. Before I could even think of his brother finding out his lips parted mine. It was gentle at first he wasn’t sure if I wanted it, then it got firmer as I didn’t pull back. His hand went behind my neck and pulled my closer to his face, the other hand laying my on the ground. I don’t know if I was expecting fireworks, but this felt different than what I had imagined my first kiss would feel like.
My hands wrapped around his neck before I could even think about anything. This is what I wanted. I didn’t want his brother, I wanted him. I felt the sand in my hair as he rolled my on top of him.
This is apart of my fiction story where this girl is engaged to the prince, but found out that she is more attracted to his brother. This had happened before with the brothers where Henry’s (The one that the girl is engaged to) ex-wife thought she was in love with Vladimir and Henry had her killed after he had found out that she was sleeping with Vladimir.
I love it so much! Is it being published? I would love to read it.
“Can I kiss you?”
I bit down on my bottom lip, nodding.
“Close your eyes.”
I shut my eyes, tilting my head slightly. Her hand moved to the small of my back, steadying me.
She tilted her head, and I felt her hair brush my elbow as her lips met mine.
I moved my hand down her face, resting it on the back of her neck. She wrapped her arm around my waist as she moved her mouth against mine, anxiety and worries making way to numbness.
It was the kind of kiss that was so intoxicating your brain couldn’t handle thinking about anything else. We only broke when we needed to breathe, and I briefly basked in the image of her heavy-lidded eyes and slightly messy hair before our lips met again.
She deepened the kiss, pulling me on top of her so that my legs were straddling hers. It was so much and not enough all at once.
A high pitched scream broke us apart, ringing through the entirety of the school grounds.
The second the door closed, Henry was on Michael in a heartbeat, pinning him against the wall. Already it was far out of bounds of public modesty. Michael could feel Henry ever so slightly brushing his tongue over his bottom lip, requesting entrance. Michael denied. Rejected but not disheartened, Henry moved down to Michael’s neck. A small moan slipped out from between his lips as Henry nipped just below his ear lobe, before he made his devious way down to suck a lovebite on Michael’s sunkissed skin.
His slender fingers were gently caressing the curve of Michael’s hip, while the other was softly grasping his jaw. Henry suddenly had the power to turn his husband’s legs to jelly, leaving him undone with just a few kisses and some very strategic touching. Michael felt helpless, his eyes shut and his head lolling backwards against the wall in a trance of tongue. At last, Michael gave in to Henry’s wordless requests, and as his sweet lips toyed with his, he was finally granted entrance. Michael struggled to keep his footing as Henry’s tongue softly mapped every inch of his mouth. As they broke apart for air, Michael took the opportunity to sensibly suggest that it probably wasn’t the best idea to get intimate in the hallway, as much as he wanted to. Henry agreed.
“Do you want to take this upstairs, or finish it later?” He smirked, before turning to inspect the delicious red mark he had left on Michael’s neck. He seemed proud of his work, and Michael couldn’t disagree. He was shaking, and felt like if the wall behind him wasn’t there, then he would have collapsed ages ago.
Michael considered his options for a few seconds. He could either go upstairs and be rendered subject to Henry’s magic, or walk away and start cooking dinner, and risk his kids seeing the red mark on his neck. He didn’t think he had enough mental strength for the latter.
“Let’s go up…”
Michael went up the stairs first, so that Henry would be there to catch him if his knees gave way. When he reached the landing without falling, he couldn’t say he wasn’t a bit proud of himself. He opened the door on the left to their bedroom, and Henry stepped in after him. He slowly shut the door behind himself, a kind of hunger in his eyes which Michael couldn’t quite place. It was almost predatorial, but he liked it.
“Come here. Gosh, your lips look…. delicious.”
Michael obliged without word.
“Gosh, your lips are delicious.” Henry murmured, sending sparks and shivers up Michael’s spine.
i can’t stop reading this, it’s really well written. i always reference it when writing because of how good and descriptive it is. great job!
That’s soooooo awesome!!! If that book is coming out, I will buy it. I have been looking trough the comments for so long and this is until now the best of all. I just wrote my first kissing scene and I think it ended up pretty good. This gave me so many ideas and I hope it’s okay, if I copy it? That was just really good job!
I’ve never had the chance to ever kiss anyone so making one up is even more difficult then I could even imagine I don’t know how to describe it but this sort of helped
Same, I’ve never had a kiss before so it’s harder then it should be
he grabbed my hand and pulled me back inside his grip was firm and the next thing I knew he slammed his lips to mine and nearly knocked all wind from my lungs. I hardly had time to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of my lips I opened my mouth in shock he delved inside my mouth. It was a very sloppy kiss with the strong scent of mint being exchanged in the intermingling of our billowing breaths. He let go of my lips and we took in a deep breath before he dulged back in I could feel his saliva as it rolled off my tongue and seeped down my throat with every push of his tongue against mine.
I’m working on a romance novel and these totally helped!! There are two characters. It’s being told from the girl’s perspective. Neither has had their first kiss. The girl is uninterested, but the boy really likes her. Gradually, she begins to like him but they aren’t dating. There is some low-key flirting and a few romantic moments but nothing serious. I’m planning to have to boy go in for a kiss, but I have no idea how I want to describe it. He’s kind and considerate, but he’s also been having feelings for her for a long time and he wants to go all in. Anyone here have something I can tweak that I can use?
Here is one that I have been working on:
We stared at the sunset for a minute. I stared at the rosy clouds and commented, “It looks like I can just pluck the clouds out of the sky and eat them. Don’t they look like cotton candy?”
He laughs. “I love the way you think.”
I sigh, stretching my arms above my head and then placing them behind my back on the soft mossy ground. I lean on my elbows, and then, eventually, lie down completely. I fold my hands behind my head and watch the last of the sun’s rays disappear below the horizon. The first stars begin to peek out from the black curtain sweeping above out heads and the light of the full moon. There aren’t any crater or bruises — just a polished sphere of white looking down at me.
I glanced at Ethan, surprised to realize that he was looking at me.
Or, more specifically, my lips.
“Is something wrong?” I ask. “Is my make-up smudged?”
“Or something,” he agrees, staring at me with something in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before.
I couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. “Is something wrong?” my voice caught.
He didn’t reply, instead leaning in closer. He lay down next to me, propped up by his elbow. His face was only a hair’s breadth away from mine. I turned to look at him and he pressed forward. He kissed me.
I had known in my heart all along. He loved me. And now it it me full force.
His hand crept up my spine, pulling me in close. His hand rested on my hip and behind my neck. His lips started to open mine. Trembling, I obeyed.
I almost couldn’t breathe as his roving hands swept up my hips. I knew that he wanted me to kiss him back. I wanted to as well, but I was so shocked that I was completely immobilized.
He pulled away. “Kiss me,” he whispered.
I pressed my lips to his. My hand ran through his dark hair. I felt a tremor go through his body before he wrapped his arm around me. He slid his body on top of mine, bracing himself with his elbows so I didn’t get the full brunt of his weight. He kissed me harder, almost aggressively. His mouth opened mine. I swiveled my head back and forth, mapping out his mouth. I was wrapped up in the kiss, and I didn’t want it to stop.
His hands clutched my forearms, preventing me from moving. His arms stopped carrying so much of the weight and he pushed down on top of me. He ran his fingers through my hair. I couldn’t breathe, what with my shock and his weight. I pushed off of the ground and he slid his body off of mine. In the process, his lips parted with mine and we both panted heavily.
Then I scooted closer. I hadn’t been this close to someone before, and it made me feel safe. I kissed him gently, nothing fancy. I stood up, knowing that we couldn’t stay here forever. He did the same.
“Goodbye,” I murmured, my lips wet. And before he could say anything, I took off, sprinting towards my house.
I really like the writing, just the “swiveled my head back and forth” part is a little weirdly worded.
Okay, I have a fanfiction that I’m working on, and I’m trying with the kiss scene. Please tell me your thoughts. The setting is they are laying on Will’s bed on their sides looking at each other:
He cut me off with a sloppy kiss, due to our awkward position on the bed. I kissed back, grabbing his arm to pull him on top of me. Will nibbled my bottom lip making me let out a soft moan, which Will took as an opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. We moved in sync, passionately kissing each other. I felt connected to Will at that moment, more than I ever had before. He pulled off my lips and swiftly moved to my neck. He sucked and licked his way down, leaving marks that I’d later have to cover up later. I tugged at the hem of his shirt, and he knew what I wanted. In one quick motion he whipped off his shirt, and I sat up for a second to take off mine. There was a gleam in Will’s azure eyes that made chills crawl down my spine. He shoved me back down on the bed and kissed me again. I ran my hands through WIll’s golden locks, tugging at the back, making Will groan in response. Will had been hovering over me this whole time, but he now layed down, the weight of him crushing me, but in a good way. I could feel his boner digging into my thigh, which just turned me on even more. He left my lips again, kissing down my stomach. I was about to tell him to keep going when there was loud banging on the door.
“WILLLLL!!! NICCOOOOO!! DINNER!!” Kayla yelled.
Oh my gods. Solangelo?
Oh my gods!!! Solangelo!!!
OMFG!!!!! SOLANGELOOO! LESSGOOO
YAAAAS!!
wow nice touch really felt real
I am a complete and absolute bookworm. I am writing a novel [trying to] to enter in the young authors award. That article was really helpful as were the comments. I have a brief idea on how to write a kissing scene as though i am actually there. Thanks guys!
I’m writing a story, and I tried to write a kissing scene, but since I’ve never kissed anyone, I don’t know how good or bad this is.
“Well, I don’t know, there’s just something that I really wanna do,” he says, resting his hand on the back of his neck. Before I can ask what, he presses his lips to mine. At first, the kiss is sweet, kind of like a looooong peck. But all the innocence is stripped away as he parts my lips with his. He slides his tongue along my bottom lip, and I moan softly. He slips his tongue inside my mouth, and we battle for dominance as he leads me towards the bed. He gently pushes me down onto the bed. He climbs on top of me, resting on his elbows, careful to not put his full weight on me. He connects his lips to mine once again, and as soon as our tongues meet again, the door opens and we jump apart, Will quickly climbing off of me. I look over to see who interrupted our heated make-out session, and I see Connor standing there, smirking.
so ive been working on this story for a while now in 14 and never been kissed this website gave me a good idea of what to write could I maybe get some feedback . thanks guys 🙂 stay safe .
now im stood here in the middle of the hall looking around frantically , i need to find him right now . i take a step forward because i think i saw him but i was wrong then i take a step back in frustration and i bump into someone as i turn to apologise i see him his perfectly sculpted face.
for whats eens like eternitys we just stare directly into eachothers eyes most people would look at his eyes and see beautiful green baut at this very moment i see mountains and maps and thousands of miles of beautiful senary surrounded by coulors no one even knows exist and only i will ever see. i see myself and i see a future full of love as he looks down at my slightly parted lips. i know whats about to happen we both lean into eachother in slow motion only breaking eye contact for a few seconds to look down at his lips . our mouths touch the slightest bit and i pull away with anxiety then we begin closing the gap even more and then gradually this small peck becomes this much more passionate kiss with its own lifeline surviving by the slight movements of our toungs dancing in our mouths were connected body and soul in this moment the rest of the world spins so fast it becomes nonexistent in my mind . i lean further in to hold him and keep myself from melting into the floor, our eyes are closed but i can see clearer than i ever have. Its asif i can feel fireworks blazing , glowing and igniting something within me . were completely and utterly in sync in this very moment, i can feel his hands running through my hair and im tugging at his this moment couldn’t be anymore perfect. We both slow down and cautiously pull back i noow remember that everyone is staring at us and i can hear them clapping but i don’t care i look up into his eyes as i hug him and i realize he doesn’t care either we were together and thats all that mattered .
This will be the first kissing scene I’m going to write for my book, hope someone can give me a feedback. I’m a bit scared it’s not good enough..
And for a brief moment, they both just stared fondly at each other eyes.
Then Yoongi gently held Aen’s face with his other hand, tilts his head and slowly started leaning towards her.
Aen felt her heartbeat accelerate and when Yoongi’s face was just an inch away from her face, she abruptly close her eyes.
Yoongi felt the same, although his heart has been beating rapidly ever since Aen said she loves him for who he is. And when he saw her close her eyes, he smiled.
And finally the feelings they had for each other was sealed as their lips meet.
They both felt happy and complete, and the 0 on their wrist glowed at the same time as well indicating their souls have bonded .
Aen feels Yoongi put her hand that was on his face behind his neck, then his hand was on her waist and pulled her a bit closer.
The kiss is sweet and is full of affection.
they shared made them feel like time had stop just for them and that this moment was already predestined to happen.
And as they both parted for a breather, they look at each other’s eyes and smiled.
The suprised studio date was really worth it.
I think it’s great, I myself don’t really like the very graphic kiss descriptions (that’s just me) but this is really good! make it a bit more consistent either past or present tense, as you’ve got “they both just stared fondly” and also “Aen feels Yoongi” so, just choose past or present tense and stick with one or the other is my advice.
I have never been kissed before im also working on something this is really good!!!!
Omg, guys! These are so good! I’m writing a novel, however, I have never been kissed before. Tell me what you think:
I stared at the sunset, the swirling twilight mixing with the dark purples and oranges and the red sun to make a spiraling masterpiece. I sighed with content, propping myself up with the heels of my hands. I turn my head to scratch an itch when I see Andrew staring at me.
“What?” I ask, nervous. Then I clear my throat to try and remove the squeak in my voice. “Is something wrong?” It doesn’t work. Why am I nervous? I shouldn’t be nervous—nothing’s going on. After all, I’ve known him for a month now, and there haven’t been any sparks.
Have there?
My knees start trembling, and in an effort to retain our friendship—and my dignity— I smooth my skirt over them. In an effort to look casual, I say, “This looks like something you’d paint, Andrew.”
He shakes his head and doesn’t elaborate.
Eventually, he stands up and holds his hand out. I take it and gently pull myself up. “Audrey, there’s… something I should tell you.”
He stares at me with that intense look in his eyes, that look where you can tell he’s thinking hard. His wide, blue eyes stare at me, and I reach for his hands. There’s something so irresistible about his stare. And before I can stop myself, I lean forward until my face brushes up against his. I wait a moment, in case he wants to pull away, but he doesn’t.
And for a second, I doubt myself.
My emotions are so tangled, no comb could straighten them.
But there’s something that could.
So I close that last bit of space and press my lips against his. I can tell he’s been waiting for this moment. And strangely, semi-consciously, so have I.
He slides his hands down my hips and I shiver, and he senses it. He cradles me in his arms, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, and I part my lips. I wrap my arms around him, closing every last bit of space, and he picks me up; I’m much shorter than him. I run my hands through his thick, brown hair and smile. I never thought I’d be touching him like this before.
He carries me to his house, setting me down on the porch. We part for a moment, breathing in, before indulging ourselves once more. I’ve always been so shy, but that part of me melts away. I tug at his shirt, urging him to take it off. With a sexy smile, he takes my hands, evading my efforts and leads me inside. We make it to his bedroom, not bothering to close the door before he scoops me up again. I feel so… brave in his arms.
His hand slides up my back, warm and soothing. I melt into his touch and squeeze him to me. I want more but… I just can’t seem to get it. I pull away, and our eyes meet.
He understands. He feels it too.
And with that, he’s on top of me, tugging off my shirt and his. I run my hand down his chest, hard with muscle. I’m so indulged I vaguely sense him working at the button on my jeans. I lay back on the bed, stretching out my arms, inviting him to join me. He does, pressing his lips to mine, his minty breath is intoxicating, pulling me in, I scoot closer, my heart pounding. His lips part mine, and our tongues meet. I map out his mouth, feeling every inch. I slide my hands down his waist as his hands tangle in my hair. I haven’t been this close to anyone, ever.
I don’t want anything else. I just need him.
There’s no distractions, we dissolve into each other’s bodies. It all happened so fast, but I can’t feel anything else.
There’s nothing else but Andrew.
Ok, are you a proffesional writer? Because it sure seems like you are . I mean seriously. How do you evn get that good?!
Ok, so this is a story that I finished a while ago, and I’m just gonna type up the kiss scene here, that is, if anyone can see it. My comments are kinda unapproved, so here goes. This story is about a girl named Amethyst who is secretly a hero named the Black Jaguar (not the Black Panther, that’s someone else.). She is friends (okay… more than that) with a guy named Easton. And as a superhero, Black Jaguar has a partner named Blue Tiger. This is the kissing scene between Amethyst and Easton, where they are in the woods, and (for some as yet unknown reason) they’re talking about their favorite types of kisses. This was my very first kissing scene I ever wrote, so please just read, and don’t judge. (the word are slightly changed from the original for this, btw.)
“I like the really slow kisses, the kind that go for a long time,” Easton said. “Shall I demonstrate?” Now Amethyst was completely shocked. Her heart began to hammer in her chest.
“On me?!” she squeaked. Easton waggled his blonde eyebrows at her.
“Of course on you, silly! Who else is there?” Easton said. Around them, the woods were mostly silent, except for the occasional bird song. “So do you want to?” Amethyst blushed fuchsia. In a very small voice, she said,
“OK.”
Easton then scooted over to her, his sea-green eyes filled with a smoldering passion as he came closer and closer, until he was less than an inch away from her. Amethyst’s heart was thumping hard, and her soft, freckled cheeks were a fiery shade of red. Easton placed his strong hands gently on her small shoulders, and lowered his face to hers. His forehead touching hers, he brought his lips to hers, and he kissed her gently, pressing his mouth to hers. The feeling of fire completely consumed Amethyst, and she was lost the kiss they shared. Their first kiss was a long one, full of mutual passion and a shared love. Easton buried his hands in her dark hair, running his fingers through it as he kissed her with an unearthly fire and passion. Amethyst felt herself falling backward, landing on the mossy ground with a slight thud. Amethyst ran her hands up his chest, it being surprisingly muscular for someone so slim, and Easton rolled to be on top of her, letting out a groan of delight. Easton’s hands moved out of Amethyst’s hair to keep himself up, and Easton gently opened Amethyst’s small mouth to let his tongue in. Amethyst’s violet eyes opened in surprise at the feel of his tongue in her mouth, but she eventually succumbed to Easton’s ministrations. Easton lifted his head up, long enough for him to whisper,
“Amethyst, why don’t you kiss m–” but the rest of his sentence was cut off by Amethyst pressing her lips to his. Amethyst felt like her skin was on fire, as heat coursed through her veins, but she kept it up. She always wanted to be with this boy, she realized. Placing her hands on Easton’s strong shoulders, she sat up, and they stopped for a moment, the kissing having made them breathless but grinning. Amethyst swooped towards him, her mouth making contact in a moment, and she landed on top of him. With her on top of him, and Easton taking advantage of this moment to run his hands down her skirt-covered legs, and Amethyst placing her slender hands under his shirt and up his back. Finally, they broke apart, breathing heavily and lying on top of each other.
“That was…great, for a first, second and third kiss,” Amethyst panted, getting off of Easton. Then they got up and ran hand in hand, into the distance, where destiny was calling their names.
In my book, it is pretty different than the rough draft, where someone sneaks up behind them and takes a picture of them kissing. And in the book, they have to cut the make-out session short to go change into their superhero costumes (but neither knows that the other is a superhero). Also, shouldn’t there be a stopping point in the kissing? I mean, I have standards for this stuff, so….. yeah.
Anyway, hope you like it, and I hope I did it right!
(I’m a 15 year old girl and this is my first “spicy” scene as I like to call them XD.)
His breath is hot on my neck and I can feel a bulge pressed on my lower back. “What do you want me to do?” He whispers in my ear. Tingles shoot through my body from hearing those words.
“I want you to show me you love me.” I say breathily.
His hands snake around my lower back to my stomach slightly pulling me closer. Soft kisses trail up my neck as he turns me around planting a passionate kiss on my lips.
Our lips move in unison changing from passionate to fiery lust. My hands touch his face bringing him closer to me deepening the kiss. He pulls away breathing heavily looking into my eyes.
“Let’s go to the bedroom.” He says with a husky voice.
In one smooth sweep, I am carried into the air. We share teasing kisses as he walks slowly to the room. Sitting on the bed I straddle him, he grins before flipping me over with him on top. With a look in his eyes for approval, I nod. He kisses from my neck to between my breasts to my stomach then stops to look at me. He kisses lower and lower teasing my hot skin before opening my legs…
(So, how was the scene?)
It goes very quickly. I think its too short. I don’t know where the clothes come off or if she’s nervous or if he’s excited or…
i would suggest maybe describing how the kisses feel (tingling, shocks, sparks, etc.) if you’re going to make this type of scene i advise to put more details in how they look. if they are blushing if they are taking in each other’s eyes (what colour are they?). adding what type of clothes they wear.
wow 😳 it’s crazy
Hey everyone, I’m really late to this, but please tell me what you think! I would love any feedback – this is just the middle bit of a kiss description. I realise it’s not that good but the only way I will improve is from your feedback.
Her skin was soft but her lips were chapped and weathered. As Michael ran his hand across her cheek he felt an irregularity, a scar of some kind. In his opinion it made her more beautiful and unique, like a gorgeous butterfly. She was new, yet felt oddly familiar. She fit perfectly into his arms, her lips seemed moulded to the shape of his and his hands curled around hers so perfectly he felt they had been made for him. Close up, she smelt familiar, somehow: wine, roses, honey… she reminded him of his home. She tasted like anything amorous. She tasted like tenderness, warmth and intimacy – he imagined holding her by a bonfire, watching the reflection of the flames dancing across her skin. She tasted like pure, clear water, as though it came straight from a spring. She tasted like passion, like pure, unrestrained passion. Whatever she tasted like, it made Michael want more.
Dang! This is soooo good. It’s really deep and descripitive. You don’t even need feedback!
DANG! It’s brilliant! Really deep and descriptive. I tried to think of feedback but it doesn’t need any; it’s so perfect. Great job dude!
Wow that’s awesome! I’ve never written a kissing scene before nor have I been kissed but I’m doing my best to figure out the best way to do mine.
wow, that was really good!!! you put the right amount of decryption in every little action and you pinpoint every single detail beautifully
“Can you come here Ezlyn?”
“Sure David.” We walked into the woods and David started speaking.
“Over this year I have realised how I need you in my life. I realised that I woke up to see you smile and laugh. I can’t live without you, I need you by my side.” “David,” This was very odd for him. “No let me finish. I need to love you. You are so special to me, you can’t even know how much I love you. I love you so much.” He leaned forward and I took a step back to find my back against a tree. My nose breathed in his sandalwood cologne and I was immediately calmed. He wiped a strand of hair from my face and gently began to kiss my lips. He wrapped his hands around my neck and the kiss became more aggressive. My stomach flipped and knotted and my knees became weak. Time stopped and both of our personalities changed. David became bold, I became shy, and I loved it. David stopped to breathe and then came back to my face. His kisses were like black holes pulling you in until you are lost. It was a sweet but bruising kiss that left me wanting more, but it wasn’t enough. I grabbed his collar, pulled his blue shirt and himself closer. I slipped my hands through his hair, getting caught on knottes. He picked me up and leaned me against the tree. I wrapped my legs around his waist, supporting myself. His tongue pressed against my lips, asking for permission to enter my mouth. I granted it to him. His mouth tastes like a sweet mint, spicy but not overwhelming. His grip slipped and we fell to the ground, he chuckled.
“Hey, that was n-not fun-ny.” I whispered in between kisses.
“Then let me kiss the pain away.”
“Deal.” He laid on top of me kissing me and making me forget. He made me forget the past year almost completely. David slowed down until he stopped, leaving a searing heat on my lips.
“Well, that was, uhh, hot.”
“Hot, that is the word you came up with David. What about ravishing, heated, sweet, thrilling or even exciting.”
“Yeah those words are better.”
“Consider yourself lucky.”
“Why, Ezlyn?”
“Well I don’t kiss a lot of people.”
“You haven’t kissed anyone before me have you?”
“No. That is very rude to say, but, it might be true.” I whispered.
“I haven’t kissed anyone either.” I smiled knowing that David was mine and only mine. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I rested on his chest. We fell asleep like that and I slept better that night than I ever did in the past year.
I am 12 and a horror writer. I have copyrights to the book.
It’s really good. David’s sweet and Ezlyn is super cool. Nice job!
These stories are awesome!
You should all be very proud of yourselves!
From Starlight,11
i am writing a book about a girl and a boy who have been friends forever and everyone ships them. she is asexual sadly. im going to be 13 in a few weeks, I’ve never been kissed before and don’t think i ever will cause im hideous, and writing kissing scenes are the hardest since ive never experienced it before i hope ya like it, (sry if it’s kinda cliche) so here it goes:
it started to snow. i started to shiver to try to calm myself down so Luis wouldn’t notice, but he did. he grabbed his jacket and put it on my shoulders as we kept walking down the sidewalk. this was normal for us, to flirt a bit, we had been friends since we were 4 and i didn’t want that to change.
“so i’ve been wanting to tell you something, for a while now, . .um” he said breaking the awkward silence
“yeah?”
“i really really… really like you, and i know what people say about us and that we’re only friends but i can’t hold it anymore”
“don’t, no please, were just meant to be friends nothing else, i don want to ruin that”
“Please, i have loved you ever since” his voice started to break
“im sorry, i really am”
“please, can we just try?”
“im sorry im just, im really sorry i just can’t fake me feelings towards you, i can’t it would crush you. we would ruin it all! we wouldn’t be like the cute couples in movies where we just end up together”
“can’t we just try” he was trying to hold back tears, challenging to fall down his cheeks
“no we can’t, i would ruin it all, with my temper and and with everything that i am i would break you! even more than you are now!”
“so now were just going to forget everything?” he said in a fierce tone
“no! i love you i really do, but not in that way! i reall-” he cut me off by kissing me. iaccept the kiss. it started slow and passionate. i dipped my head getting a better angle of his mouth. we fought for lower lip but eventually calmed down. he took in my gray eyes when i pulled back.
“what?” he asked “i thought we where-”
“im sorry i can’t” i cut his off looking into his pale blue eyes
“wait what?” he asked in confusion “im really sorry, i really am but you know what i am i can’t do this to you”
“i can’t believe it. i can’t believe that i actually thought we where going to work out”
“no, i don’t mean in that way!”
“so we can try?”
“no, im sorry i really am, but i cant”
~
this wasn’t really a true kissing scene i just want feedback on what i should do to make it more interesting, it’s terrible, i know but please leave critisism blow i would love to get more ideas…
I think one thing you could try is to make the dialogue less…just them talking, maybe describe how they’re feeling, what they’re doing, etc.
It’s good!
Thanks! Your support helps me write.
I’m 12 and I’m attempting to write a romance/mystery novel. I haven’t ever been kissed before so do you guys have any tips for writing a kissing scene? If you do please comment them and I’ll try to use them in my scene. ONce I finish I’ll post it.
I just finished my kiss scene from the novel that I’m writing. So basically Niko and Cinder are from another universe but Cinder let and came to our universe. Niko is a shy soldier with a fierce side. She gets kidnapped and brought to our universe (more commonly known as Universe 27B to her) and is experimented on. She escapes and finds Cinder. There is a special bond between her and Cinder. So here it is.
Everything about her was perfect. The sheer softness of hair running through my hands like water running through a stream. The feel of her lips on mine is just like before. Just like the way she didn’t want to do this or the way that she passionately kisses. I push against her lips and I can sense this is what she wanted, no needed. I feel the pressure of her lips pushing me very slowly towards the edge of the couch. Her skin is cool like the air on an early morning walk. Ohh this is what I needed. I pull away knowing I’m about to fall off the couch. I grab her arm and pull her into the dark corner because that’s where it’s about to get even better.
“Ohh Cinder” I hear her moan. All I’m focused on is her beautiful body. I slowly pull her arm towards the corner while still caressing her shoulders and neck and lightly press her against the wall. I pull away to tell her something but she just grabs me and presses her sweet lips against mine even harder to silence whatever I was trying to say. I don’t even know at this point. It’s so overwhelming I can’t remember what I was going to say. All I can think about is how much I’ve missed her. I open my eyes as she pulls away.
“No baby, don’t leave.”
“Never said I was.” She says with a smirk as she tugs at the hem of my shirt and slowly pulls it off. So this is what she wants.
This is just a first try so please let me know what you think. Thanks!
I groan and try to get up.
“Woah, Theo. You were just shot. Hold still and let me try to.”
I start to chuckle, inducing another wave of pain. He nicknamed me Theo, short for Theodosia. Kinda always had a crush on him since that day 3 years ago. He knows that I’m more private, so he’s stuck playing nurse.
“There are worse things than patching up a bullet wound you know,” he says as if reading my thoughts.
“Like what? Having fun fighting?” I groan again as he pulls away the layers of clothes.
He pauses for a second. “I’m going to roll your tank top, but it’s probably going to hurt. If the blood has started to dry yet, the wound will reopen.
I nod and grit my teeth. He pulls up my tank top along with some dry blood. I gasp loudly and he grimaces.
“Hey, at least it was just a graze.”
“Shut up. You’re going to make me laugh and that hurts.”
He smiles. “Okay I have some alcohol and that will work. Just don’t focus on it.”
“Yeah, that made me pass out!” I say, closing my eyes.
But he was already pouring it. I didn’t have time to think about something else before it started stinging.
Until I felt lips on mine. I opened my eyes to him kissing me and my brain almost exploded. He pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss. I loosely wrapped my arms around him. His rough hands slid up my back and helped support me upright. Cautiously moved my hands up to his face, and eventually his hair. My fingers tangled in until I couldn’t breathe anymore and broke the kiss.
I could barely feel the gunshot now.
I’m writing a story, too. I’ve just posted the scene I’m writing and you guys have really helped me write it. I’m so grateful…thank you! your’e guys’s scenes are so great.
This is my story, and basically this girl is having her first kiss in the forest with her boyfriend.
My heart skips a beat and my knees get wobbly. I wasn’t standing up, so I couldn’t fall, but I’m sure I would if I was standing. I curl my hand around his neck, and the other one in his soft, curly hair. I open up and kiss him back, but I’m not quite sure if I’m doing it right. I close my eyes when it happens but secretly open one to see if he’s staring at me. His eyes are closed, too. I feel his cold hand touch my back and pull me a little closer. Shivers run down my spine. I feel my heart racing and my stomach jumps repeatedly. I’m pretty sure I just opened my mouth too wide. His warm breath on my face feels inviting. I can’t put in words how this kiss really feels. It’s like I’m floating, drifting away, and I feel happy…ready for this to end, but not just yet. I know it can’t work out with Caylen. I just want to cherish this one moment. We go on for a while…
What was that? Oh, he stopped. I make an uneasy face. When he smiles hopefully, I make a satisfied face. Caylen stands me up, walks me to my house, and gives me a kiss on the cheek before I excitedly run off to tell Emeline about the romantic adventure I had this afternoon.
Sorry, my story didin’t get posted. its unnaproved or something. but philo’s story is really good! amazing.
Wow. The talent you guys have is mind-blowing! I decided to write a bit of a kissing scene. So ya.
“What are you doing?”, hissed Noah, shutting the door behind them, his mind racing.
“You weren’t there yesterday”, Kieran breathed, his eyes looking unearthly in the moonlight, “I wanted to see you”. Before he could reply, Kieran kissed him with such force that he was slammed against the wall.
Noah didn’t resist, couldn’t resist, even as Kieran’s knee slipped in between his legs, parting them. The sweet smell of the boy he loved filled his nostrils, the scent calming his troubled mind, clearing it of all thoughts. Noah dragged him onto the bed, and they fell into each other, Kieran’s lips against his, tasting like peppermint and coffee and spices all rolled into one.
Kieran paused to take his shirt off, and Noah shivered as he realised how broad his shoulders were. The shape of him, Kieran, took his breath away.
And he wanted him all the more for it.
What do you think? It is only a snippet, but I think that it illustrates the characters’ relationship nicely.
This is a great site. I HIGHLY recommend ‘Jane Eyre’. It rocks.
This is my character’s first kiss, it’s near the end of the book, so, some of the stuff they talk about might not make sense. This book is aimed at teens-preteens, so…let me know if you think this scene is ok for that age group. Well, here’s the kiss:
“Hey!” Brook jumped, looking away from where she’d been watching Paleface and her foal Opal grooming each at the other side of the round pen. Dean was walking towards her.
“Hey,” Brook replied, leaning slightly against the rails. “Um, it’s a lovely sunset, isn’t it?” Brook waved a hand around them, the farm and bushland around it was bathed in golden light.
“Yes. Just beautiful.” Dean said. Brook was too busy gazing at the warm glow the setting sun left of the land and thinking about the wonderful sunset photos she’d gotten in her two week stay to notice Dean was looking at her.
“How’s your arm?” Dean asked, pointing at her left arm, which was strapped in a sling.
“Fine, it doesn’t hurt anymore unless I bump it or jar it, which I’m getting a little better at avoiding.” Brook said. She remembered the horrible pain when her arm had broken the evening before.
“Jackson’s a real jerk doing that.” Dean said. ” But, you did really well, you were so brave.” He moved a little closer, laying his hand on Brook’s.
“Thanks. In truth, I was terrified, but I knew I couldn’t just let him do that, I had to save Paleface and Opal.”
“Does your arm hurt if I touch it?” Dean asked, reaching out and running his hand from her shoulder down to her wrist.
“No,” Brook said.
Dean stepped closer and put his arms around Brook, she buried her face in his shirt, there was something so comforting about Dean. He slipped a hand under her chin, raising her face. Brook gazed up at him, she noticed how gently he held her so he didn’t hurt her arm, and his smile, then he slightly titled his head, Brook did the same, in the other direction. Then she shut her eyes.
Dean’s lips brushed softly against hers, she felt their lips lock, his breath soft on her cheek. She could stay like this forever. Then Dean pulled back gently and released her.
“You…you kissed me?” Brook gasped.
“Yes, I thought it would be okay…I’m sorry.” Dean looked flustered.
“No, it’s fine, I was just surprised.”
“I’ll really miss you when you leave tomorrow.” Dean whispered before turning and hurrying back to the house, leaving Brook gazing after him, unsure what to do next, or what would even happen next.
That’s it. What do you think? There is a lot of talking not much kissing, but, yeah…it is for younger readers. I’m not into all the “gaping maw” and stuff of one of the examples. I nearly puked when I read that. Anyway, Dean and Brook have known each for two weeks and been through a lot together (they’re teenagers, not adults, btw) and they have flirted a little but not anything serious. I’m thinking this will be a series and they may kiss again, but similar sort of kisses to the one I’m sending.
I think your kiss is great!
Okay, so I know I’m pretty late here, but here’s a scene from the novel I’m writing. I’ve never kissed anyone, so I was looking for some feedback. It’s a flashback of a time that the two main characters, Levi and Callisto, kissed. It’s told from Callisto’s perspective, and for a bit of background, they have been friends since they were seven. They had a falling out when they were thirteen, but the year before that is when the flashback takes place. In the current year (When L+C are 16) Callisto’s older sister, Emmeline, is getting married, so Callisto is kind of thinking about romance and the only time she’s kissed someone (which was Levi). So yeah, here it is:
I kissed Levi, once.
It was about a year before the fight, back when Emmie had been dating Tristan for just a little while. We were sitting together on a set of concrete steps, near where we had first met. We weren’t really doing much, just sitting around, talking, enjoying one-another’s company. Or at least, I was enjoying his. I think he enjoyed my company, too, but I couldn’t quite tell. It was always hard to tell with Levi.
“Has Henry ever kissed anyone?” I asked Levi. Henry was the same age as Emmie, so I figured he might have.
Levi wrinkled his nose. “No.” He said it simply and matter-of-factually, like that was the end of the conversation.
“Oh. Emmie has a boyfriend, now. His name is Tristan. He’s okay, but he and Emmie spend a lot of time kissing.”
“That’s disgusting,” Levi said, shaking his head slightly, like he was disappointed that my sister would participate in such vulgar activity. For a moment, his face screwed up in thought, “No, Henry hasn’t kissed anyone.” He sounded as though he was trying to convince himself.
“Have you ever kissed someone?” I asked. It seemed like the next question in what I thought was a rather logical train of thought.
If it was possible, he looked even more disgusted. “No.”
“Oh,” we were both quiet, for a minute, then I asked, “Do you want to try?”
He looked confused. “Try what?”
“Kissing.”
He turned a little green. “No.” We were both quiet for another minute. I noticed he seemed unsure. Then, he seemed to be considering it. “Okay, maybe we should try it,” he resolved, speaking slowly and methodically, as though Congress had just reached the biggest decision of the century.
“Great!” I exclaimed. I was excited to try it. Emmie sure seemed to like it. I leaned in towards him, but he pulled away.
“Wait!” He yelped, “I don’t know how! I’ve never seen anyone kiss before.”
That thought hadn’t occurred to me. “Never? Not even your parents?”
He shook his head, his cheeks flushed pink.
“Well, that’s okay, I’ll show you. I’ve seen Emmie do it, and Mama and Papa, too.” I leaned in again, and this time, he only shrunk back slightly. I put my hands on his shoulders. “There. And you put your hands on my waist.”
He did what I said, looking immensely uncomfortable. “What now?”
“Now, we close our eyes.” He squeezed his eyes shut, and I did the same. I leaned in slowly towards him. I opened my eyes slightly, to make sure he hadn’t leaned away. When our lips touched, he shrunk back a little, but we stayed like that for a minute, and he seemed to be more comfortable.
Maybe it wasn’t a real kiss. Maybe we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend like Tristan and Emmie, and maybe we never would be, but I felt a lot closer to him in that moment. I felt my heartbeat quicken and smelled the missing half of the butterscotch pudding I’d shared with him earlier.
Then, the moment had passed, and we leaned away from each other. I was smiling, but he looked confused. “That was it?” he asked.
“Did you like it?”
He shrugged. “I don’t get what the big deal is.”
That was when I realized that maybe he hadn’t felt it. Maybe he hadn’t felt the closeness, hadn’t felt his heartbeat quicken, or smelled the butterscotch on my breath. “Do you wanna do it again?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No.”
No, never again.
So yeah, it wasn’t much, just an innocent two-kids-kissing scene, but I’d still like feedback if anyone happens to read this. And I do have other stories where there will probably be more romance than this one, but I really don’t have much experience with writing kissing scenes (or kissing) so I thought this would be a good place to start. Anyway, let me know what you think of the scene!
Hey Katie, your story rocks. That’s all I have to say. You write like a pro. Have any tips for aspiring young writers?
Also, I like the way your character has a lot of personality. It really brings the story together and makes it more relatable. The comment about the butterscotch pudding is spot on, because it brings back the fact that they’re only twelve and still trying things out.
This is my interpretation of the story; Levi is a mysterious and (possibly?) mildly autistic character. I say this because I’ve written and read about people like him, but it’s hard to know without context. Callisto is a slightly insecure, intelligent (but she doesn’t know it) and loving young girl in the story. My impression is that she is possibly now hardened by life and that she was hit with it in one big explosion of self-realisation. Possibly her fight with Levi?
It she a soldier or someone who was exposed to a high level of experience all at once? Because that would make a lot of sense. If not, what is her story? It seems like it would be a really interesting one.
Anyway, sorry about all this, but I couldn’t help myself. You’re writing like an experienced adult. Are you?
Okay, so basically, this is mine. So Jenny and Caylen travel to this magical world, and theres akwardness between them, but soon, Theres this war and stuff. (I’m not gonna get into the details.) But they both might die, so Caylen just goes for it. Although it’s told in Caylen’s perspective. Um…lemme know for comments and stuff. Hope u like it. today is my birthday anyway.
I stare deep into his hazel eyes. Did he feel the same way about me? As I did him? The truth is, I love him. He’s sweet, and kind…gentle, brave, handsome, funny, and he’s just…amazing. As he leaned closer, and closed his eyelids, I stared at him. Was he going to kiss me? He likes…me? Out of all the girls he could choose from. His lips get closer to mine, and I lean forward.
Our lips touched, and I somehow knew, from the moment, that he felt the same way. Time stopped and no one else existed but Caylen. My lips parted, and I kissed him. It was soft, at first. His lips brushed mine delicately, like butterfly wings. Then he pressed his lips on mine, a little harder, then he stopped, unsure. He kissed me again, and each time, I felt the excitement, and craving, of the kiss.
Lightning passed through me, and I felt lost, in a different universe, slowly flying away. I finally shut my eyes and really kiss him back. I curl my fingers into his brown, curly hair, the other around his neck. My heart beats fast, and my knees wobble. His cold hand creeps from my neck to my back, and he pulls me closer, deepening the kiss. A shiver runs down my spine as his other hand tangles in my hair. His delicate, innocent kiss, makes my heart flutter, and wiggle. Then my heart races, and my stomach jumps repeatedly, as his lips press against mine again. I breathe through my nose, so I don’t run out of breath. I let him kiss me as long as he wants. I let go, but then go back, and kiss him softly, determinedly, sweat dripping down my face.
No, you can’t. You have a war to fight.
I tell my conscience to let me cherish this moment. I curl both my arms on his neck, and put my hands together. I then get uncomfortable and put both on his shoulders. He stops kissing me, and I wonder if I moved too much.
“I…I can’t, I’m not sure if I..” I start, then trail off. I look away as I say it.
“I am sure,” Caylen says.
“Of…Of what?” I ask, worriedly.
“Of one thing..” He puts his arms on my shoulders, and he looks determined. “I…I love you, Jenny. You’re just…just awesome.”
I stare deep into his eyes again, until I kiss him again. This time it’s one peck, and we put our foreheads together and stare at the ground. I pant, until I look up at him and make an uneasy face. I ran out of breath. He picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his torso. I kiss his lips repeatedly, and then I stare down at him. He’s happy. That’s all I want right now. I kiss him another time, and then tell him,
“I have to go, I have to fight,” I say. I hold his hand and we walk to the battlefield.
Across the plain, I see Quests, Icicle people, Cavemen, dragons, bears, everyone fighting, with scratches, blood, and pain everywhere. There is a mixture of yells, screams, yelps for help. One person punches another, as somebody slices a sword through one. A bear with long claws slices a cavemens face. I worriedly look around for my mom, and Emeline, but I notice Rachel on top of a tree, hitting a caveman in the head, then kicking his balls, yelling in achievment. I start to run out to fight too, but I stop. I turn around.
“I love you too, Caylen.”
Thats it. You probably don’t understand, since it’s pert of the story, but you know. The kiss is the best part. Hppy late valentines day, now that I think about it. Thanks for your ideas, comment if u like it
This last one is told in Jenny’s perspective. I was thinking about the wrong thing. It’s a boy and a girl. And they’re not…you know, gay. So…yes
Ruby’s is really good. I never kissed anyone. before and it made me feel like i was actually there. and I like katie’s too, it feels like the kids are a little younger, and it wasn’t very….in the book, but it was a very good. scene. Very. I am an experienced writer, but I’m not THAT good.
I know this is super late, but This is from a fantasy story I am writing about crossover souls (fairies mixed with humans). Isaac and Nyx are on the way to the hospital under a white lie because Nyx doesn’t want to expose her position (who she is) and Isaac just been possessed in the pier bookshop.
As we wound round the different streets we had been to at some point or had no idea of, towards the hospital, the summer sun high in the late afternoon sky, I took his hand stroking it softly. Then as if were the opposite poles of a magnet we leaned in our faces touching. I could smell the sweat of the day’s memory on him, but I didn’t care. I could smell the off brand washing powder his mother used, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was his warmth against mine, to feel his wind chapped lips on mine. It was the sweetest few seconds, before he pulled back.
‘I’m sorry, I…’ he continued to contemplate a stray cat for a few minutes before moving on to the seemingly mundane green bushes of number 12. He was doing his best to avoid the awkwardness of looking in to my eyes. There was an awkward silence between us where the seconds, felt like hours. In that silence I contemplated the moss grown crack in the pavement and the smell of dogs breath that clung to the sea air. Then I spoke, I said what I knew he felt.
‘It was long overdue’, I pulled his face to look at mine, our lips meeting once again. We kissed in quicks succession under the dabbled light of the plane tree. It was as we were drowning in the elixir of love, stopping only to inhale the cold sharp air of the sea.
‘I love you’ he spoke with such sincerity it almost took me by surprise.
‘I love you too’ I said our hands interlocking
‘Well maybe that’s enough medicine…’ I cut across him
‘You’re still going to the hospital and don’t you dare try to wriggle out of it’ I said in a mock stern voice.
he chuckled ‘That’s why I love you’
I have never kissed (romanticly ) anyone before, so it would be good to get feedback on the start of this scene. sorry if there are any spelling or gramHe chuckledmar mistakes. I guess because I am 15, it is sort of like teen fiction. But I haven’t really put it in any age box because they are not always correct or need.
OK, so I know I’m a little (a lot ) late but I just want to say, Katie, your kissing scene was phenomenal. You write like a pro. I was here earlier, so here is my scene revised.
“What are you doing?”, breathed Noah, shutting the door behind them, his mind racing.
“You weren’t there yesterday”, Kieran whispered, his eyes unearthly, the sharp edges of his jawline highlighted by the moonlight from the window.
“Why didn’t you meet me?”, he whispered, as he forced his knee between Noah’s legs, parting them. “What were you doing that was so much more important?”
Noah thought of the day before, of Livia, of Alex. The whirlwind of events. The memories. He had forgotten all about Kieran.
Before he could reply, Kieran kissed him with such force that he was slammed against the wall.
Noah didn’t resist, couldn’t resist. The sweet smell of the boy he loved filled his nostrils, the scent calming his troubled mind, clearing it of all thoughts. He didn’t have time to think. Noah dragged him onto the bed, and they fell into each other, Kieran’s lips against his, tasting like peppermint and coffee and spices all rolled into one.
All too soon, Kieran tore himself away and Noah could see how hard it was for him, like he was starving and he was putting aside the only piece of food he had. Noah shivered, breathless, as he realised how broad Kieran’s shoulders were. It was late and the exhaustion in Noah’s eyes must have begun to show because the other boy lay down beside him and whispered in his ear, “Shh, go to sleep”. Noah closed his eyes.
And he had no nightmares.
Sorry, I forgot to explain. Before this scene, Noah is friends with Alex (a girl) who likes him and he is wondering how he can tell her that he doesn’t back. But what he doesn’t know is that she has already seen Kieran and him together. Noah usually has nightmares because he was in a war with Alex(that was when they met). Noah and Kieran break up later on but it seems sad to talk about that now when their relationship is gong so well. As far as you know…..
obviously that isn’t the whole plot of the story, but the rest of it is demons and death and betrayal and blood and I’m sure you don’t want to hear any of that 0.o
Sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes, and I know it’s late but I wanted to test out and see if this would work as a kiss that never happened or should have.
Maybe If they had been older and not seemed like brother and sister, this is when they would have kissed. I would be telling you about the warmth of his lips, about the pimple on the left side of his nose, the smell of conditioner and the way the seconds felt like hours . I would try to imagine, what it felt like to be lost in someone’s breath, but then I wonder if maybe all they would find would be an awkward silence. So in some ways I’m happy it never happened , at least not now. I’m happy he only whispered ‘I love you’ before he disappeared in to the silent street lit only by the orange sodium lamps, until they merged into the bright white LED light, that the council have started putting up. All along his words felt right because kissing might have ruined the bubble they had created. But they had never asked each other if they wanted the bubble to burst. He had never asked her if she wanted to find his heart beating on her Brest and his lips making lasting memories . Maybe all along she had needed to find the courage to ask him herself because it seemed they each in turn had felt there was no path to ponder on.
They had all-ways just excepted it wasn’t to be.
That is really cool, Iris! I love the way you describe the kiss how it would have been and how all the little details come together. Love. Just, love it.
Out of a sudden impulse of mine I moved my head right next to his while we were laying down and I kissed him. It was like a simple peck, in which he flinched and moved back. I got up swiftly and said in a panicky voice “Oh no I shouldn’t have done that, I-I’m sorry.” He got up and stared into my eyes intensely before grabbing my waist, pulling me in and pressing his firm lips against mine. In that moment it was like the world was still. It was just us against the world. The kiss became more intense as he started using his tongue as if claiming me he started moving his hand down to my lower back and continuing down. I felt as if this was right. He was the one, no doubt about it. I needed him; It didn’t matter if I chose him or Urca in that moment because it was just us. Us in this moment. We were the moment. I felt as though I would never need to come back up for air. I would drown in the deep unable to breathe for this kiss.
“We were the moment”. Love it.
woah this is truly amazin , every one of you have written so well, have put in you’re whole heart to it .I’m so happy as well as proud of y’all , kudos !! so I my writing is published on the platform Wattpad under the username : cursedsunshine. All my three books were well published last year , got so much hype but unfortunately someone hacked my account and I lost everything , but I didn’t stop there , writing gives me the freedom like no other .Hence I decided to go from the dust , it would mean a lot to me , if you are able to check out my story on Wattpad, thank you !
Just a side note, I have never kissed anyone or anything and this is my attempt at a kiss scene.
His breath is hot on my neck and I can feel a bulge pressed on my lower back. “What do you want me to do?” He whispers in my ear. Tingles shoot through my body from hearing those words.
“I want you to show me you love me,” I say breathily.
His hands snake around my lower back to my stomach slightly pulling me closer. Soft kisses trail up my neck as he turns me around planting a passionate kiss on my lips.
Our lips move in unison changing from passionate to fiery lust. My hands touch his face bringing him closer to me deepening the kiss. He pulls away breathing heavily looking into my eyes.
“Let’s go to the bedroom.” He says with a husky voice.
In one smooth sweep, I am carried into the air. We share teasing kisses as he walks slowly to the room. Sitting on the bed I straddle him, he grins before flipping me over with him on top. With a look in his eyes for approval, I nod. He kisses from my neck to between my breasts to my stomach then stops to look at me. He kisses lower and lower teasing my hot skin before opening my legs…
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
My hand shoots up to turn off the alarm on my phone while a loud groan escapes my mouth. God, my alarm couldn’t have waited a few more minutes. Nick hasn’t been on my mind for a while, that was a nice dream that I wish continued. I open one eye at a time adjusting to my bright room, curtains are next on the list of things to buy. With a stretch, I push my covers off and sit to get out of bed.
If you are interested in reading the rest of the story, here is the link to it: https://booknet.com/en/book/outstanding-b144301
The story is free to read. 😛
I just recently turned 15 and I’m curious as to what different skill paths I should take to better my schooling and personal life. I’m not very confident in my writing skill, personally I think I’m not that good and what I write is a bit choppy, if I could get some feedback I’d be really appreciative (AKA I crave validation so feed me peasants). Also I changed the names of people so I don’t get killed. Tyler and Brandon it is.
“Never Tyler. Never ever. You’re amazing, and so strong. You hold all this pain in and still get up each day and push forward. I’m so inspired by you and how you are able to hold your head up from the water and get through each and every minute. You’re incredible, truely. I wish I had been there earlier, maybe then I could have helped you through everything thing you’ve been through, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t. But I’m here now and i’m not letting you go, even if you scream and push me away, I need you to know that I’ll always be here. I want to see you happy. I want to make you as happy as you make me and Ty… you make me really, really happy.” Brandon smiled, grip tightening around Tyler’s neck as he stared into the taller boy’s eyes.
Tyler’s brain short-circuited as he started into the pale blue of Brandon’s eyes, watching as the boy’s eyes shifted towards his own, pupils growing and flush rising up his cheeks. He slowly lifted his hand so it was resting on the side of Brandon’s jaw, rubbing his cheek delicately as the world around them slowed, freezing until it was just the two of them. Nothing else mattered in that moment as they stared into each other’s souls, their hearts. No words were spoken and yet, everything had been said. If any moment in his life had anchored his soul, Tyler was sure it would be this very second, gazing into the innocent and yet so devious eyes of the boy before him. He could all but feel his heart crumbling and falling into the hands of the other, every thought, every emotion that ran through his mind like a plague was now in the hands of the only person he would ever expect them to fall into. Because of course, who else to let himself be vulnerable with then this boy? How could he not trust him with his whole being? Tyler glanced down, watching as the boy licked his lips subconsciously. Raising his gaze once again he looked to Brandon for permission, letting out a harsh breath, he questioned.
“Angel, if it’s okay with you, I’d really like to kiss you right now. May I?” The brunette spoke, tongue darting out over his own lips in anticipation as he sat, one hand on Brandon’s cheek and the other resting softly against his hip. “Please Ty.” The boy all but whispered in return, gripping slightly higher at Tyler’s hair from under the taller boy’s beanie. Tyler smiled slightly at the feeling of it, leaning in to let his lips just barely graze the other boy’s.
It was Brandon that closed the gap between them, fingers locking into place in Tyler’s hair as he pushed his lips against the older boy’s. Tyler felt like an addict, Brandon slowly becoming his drug. The smaller’s lips just felt so soft and plush against his own cracked and dry ones, creating a contrast that Tyler never expected to feel, but now that he had gotten a taste, he couldn’t get enough of it. In one swift movement the two of them became one, they clung to each other as if they were the only other thing in this world, and in a way, Tyler supposed they were. Brandon gripped him tighter, pulled him closer like he was the only solid being in a spinning world and Tyler in turn, let both his hands fall over the younger’s curves and onto the dancer’s waist, fearing that one wrong move would leave everything around them shattering to pieces. Both the boy’s took their time, holding onto one another and allowing themselves to fall into a rhythm. Breathing the other in like they had been deprived of air their whole lives, it was sweet, it was soft, and it was their’s. Their moment to forever hold and cherish. Their’s to dream of and smile at. Tyler felt as though nothing could ruin this. This was special, a moment that he would forever hold close to his heart. Just him and Brandon.
Late as all hell, and while I’ve been kissed, I haven’t done it enough to capture it well. I’m also writing this from a man’s perspective, instead of a woman’s, so I worry I’m doing it wrong…if there’s feedback, that would be lovely! Otherwise, feel free to make fun of my shoddy work, haha! (Please note, this is a fantasy/sci-fi narrative, with a mention of a fictional language in it!)
Could he tell her? Yes, he could. Should he was perhaps the question he was asking. His mind floundered for a single, logical thought. Find the pros and cons, weigh the outcomes, that was what he was supposed to be doing, but his brain had faded into a sluggish mush. He could recognize nothing but her hair, dotted with tiny jeweled snowflakes; her eyes, that held far too much softness for someone who was so unpredictable; her hands, trembling against his face.
Thantil took them, folding them within his. Her skin remained soft, even in the cold. He had seen how other’s hands had cracked, the flesh scuffed like rocks. Hers did not feel that way. It made him wonder, not for the first time, if she held some sort of magic within her. Surely she did. She had enchanted him in a way he had never thought possible.
He held her gaze, waiting for her to say no. It never came. Not when he pulled her closer to him. Not when he lifted her hands. Not even when his lips brushed over her knuckles. He watched her eyes close, her lips part –
“Nor ver ch’ah, vah bta rect’tin’ecot,” she mumbled.
Just kiss me.
He let go of her hands, yanked her forward, and did just that. Damn feeling, damn passion, it damned him to the thousandth depth of hell as yet another piece of the man he was meant to be crumbled into the vast ocean that was her.
Wow! All of your scenes are amazing! You are all really talented! Here’s one that’s a part of the novel I’m writing. But before that, I guess I should give some background. Basically, the story’s about the best track & field team in the state. Two of the best runners – Asa and Whitney – are pretty good at annoying the hell out of each other, but they’ve always kinda liked eachother. During an away meet against their team’s rival school, Whitney hides in the bathrooms for a couple minutes to get away from Asa, but he’s sent to look for her. They end up talking a couple things out and eventually kissing – and Whitney misses her event. Then Joseph, their coach, walks in on them Despite the trouble they’re already in…well, I mean, I’m not gonna spoil anything, so here’s the scene:
*CVHS = cade valley high school, that’s the team*
Surprisingly, we weren’t banned from sitting together on the bus. Joseph was at the very front, and instead of my usual seat with Laurel and Ashlyn, I sat in the very back with Asa. Luckily, I had the window seat. His arms were wrapped around me and I was holding both of his hands, a position I never expected to feel so comfortable. I looked up at him and we both smiled – just a little. I put my head on his shoulder and glanced out the window from the corner of my eye. I watched as we passed cars and trucks and houses, nothing I’d never seen.
As soon as we pulled into CVHS, Asa and I got off the bus along with everyone else. But instead of walking me to my own car, he pulled me to his. Still wrapped up in each other, we slid into the backseat, and before we could bother to close the door, his mouth was on mine. It was dark outside, so it was likely that people could see us due to the lights that turned on in Asa’s car. But it didn’t matter, nothing mattered. Soon, he was on top of me and I was sinking into the leather car seats. I didn’t know where Joseph was or if he’d yell at us, but neither of us seemed to care. For a moment, Asa pulled away and muttered; “God, why did I wait so long to do this?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back down to me.
We pressed our foreheads together and I whispered “I don’t know” softly. I pressed my lips against his and ran my fingers through his thick hair. He lightly brushed his finger across my cheek, sending a tremor through my body. I didn’t care what the first or next person to see us thought, so what if I was kind of, sort of, definitely kissing my sarcastic and admittedly hot ex-enemy? Our lips separated and Asa got off of me, giving me room to sit up. I glanced at him, only to find that he was staring at me, smiling. “What?” I asked.
“All this time spent annoying the shit out of you and I never took the time to notice that you’re really pretty,” he answered.
I laughed weakly. I wanted to say I never thought you were capable of making me feel this way, but instead, I managed a quiet “thanks.”
“I- th-this is crazy, I-I-I never thought-” he shook his head. “Never mind.” I’d never heard Asa stutter before. I laughed softly and kissed his lips. When I pulled away, he slid out of the open car and I followed. Then, in one swift motion, he pushed me against the side of the car and kissed me harder than the last time. Much harder. From there, everything went from affectionate to aggressive. Passionate to something more than lustful. Sweet and harmless to addicting and intoxicating. We were under some sort of trance, and I couldn’t breathe.
Then, right there in the school parking lot, he pulled off his sweatshirt and then his jersey, tossing them both into the open car. It probably wasn’t the best idea to get this intimate considering our current location, but I was too caught up in the pleasurable pain Asa was inflicting on me. I felt like I could barely keep my footing, and if it weren’t for his grip on me, I’d be on the ground by now. He made his way down to my neck, placing rough kisses as he went. Breathing heavily, I felt his boner that I somehow hadn’t noticed digging into my leg, which only aroused me further. I lightly ran my thumb over his rough lips, and that made him grab my wrists and kiss me again.
Suddenly, he let go of me and tugged at my jersey. Again, my mind went straight to the fact that we were in the school parking lot and anyone could be watching, but I removed it anyway. Asa closed every inch of space between us by wrapping his muscular arms around me and kissing me with an open mouth. We were skin-to-skin, and it felt good. Asa slid his hand into my bra, and for some reason I let him. We both slipped our tongues into each other’s mouths, and when they touched, it made me tingle all over. He tasted like spearmint gum and the red Gatorade I’d seen him drinking during the 4×4 relay. It wasn’t the best combination, but I still wanted more. I hoped I tasted alright. After all, I’d pounded popcorn and Kit-Kats after Joseph told me I wouldn’t be running my next event.
Speak of the devil, Joseph’s car rolled right past us. I wouldn’t have noticed if it weren’t for him shouting, “What the hell? Asa, put a shirt on! Who’s that – Whitney? Wait, come on. Seriously, you two?”
Both of us turned and stared in shock like a deer in headlights.
“Honestly. Again? I JUST talked to you about this. Not okay.” Joseph shouted. “If you can’t keep your hands off each other, I’m going to have to separate you and kick one of you off the team. Or both of you. I don’t care.”
“I- Joseph, Asa is one of our fastest runners.” I managed. “You can’t kick him off the team.”
“You can’t kick Whitney off either. If we’re going to win fucking state again this year, then you’ll need both of us.” Asa added.
Joseph shrugged. “We have others. And watch your language, Byers. AND I believe I told you to put a shirt on. You too, Whitney.” I picked my jersey up off the ground and slipped it over my head while Asa pulled his sweatshirt out of the car.
“Are you happy now?” Asa snapped.
“Watch your tone,” I warned him in a whisper. “We’re already at risk of being kicked off.”
Asa shook his head. “See you at practice, Joseph,” he groaned, and started to walk away.
“Nice try,” Joseph stopped him, “I’m suspending you from the team. Either you or Whitney.”
So there we go. It was obviously a little more than they both expected, but it turned out badly again. What do you guys think?
Okay, so it’s not exactly the ✨big kiss✨ but it’s the first kiss that doesn’t count, if you will. But it triggers a lot of contemplation later in the story.
I stood, hands on the rails of the fence, waiting for him. He’d told me over text he had a note to deliver to me. Why he couldn’t just text me the contents of the note, I wasn’t sure. Eventually, I felt a tap on my shoulder. “It’s me.” I easily recognized Aiden’s voice. My eyes traveled to his hand, balled up into a fist. The note. I expected him to hand it to me, but he didn’t. He grabbed my shoulder, pulled me up to him, and pressed his lips against mine. I knew it was just a coverup. Something to hide the exchange. I could tell by his hand slipping into my back pocket, shoving the crumpled note in there. It was only a coverup. But out of all the coverups, he kissed me.
But then, he pulled away and slowly removed his hand from my pocket, careful not to make the note visible to the public. Aiden gave me a small nod as he walked away and I did the same, but walked in the opposite direction. The whole way down the trail, the note burned a hole in my pocket and the thought of our kiss burned a hole in my head. I told myself it didn’t count as a kiss, not a meaningful one. The kiss didn’t count. And that was the way it would be.
SoOoOoOo…whatcha think?
I have been writing Christian stories since I learned the alphabet. This is an excerpt from an old story I dug up when going through my computer. I was young, so not sure if this is any good, but let me know!
Back story: The girl, (Corsorvia Blanche, AKA Page) and her crush who hasn’t spoken to her in months (Job Morgan) have been magically transported to the world of Obathia to help the creatures of the 7 Realms be freed from the eternal winter. Page thinks it’s just for them, but in reality, it’s drawing her closer to Elohim…and to Job. In this scene, they just escaped near death from Cloakers (tractor-sized wolves) and are continuing on their way through the barren, frigid wasteland of Obathia. The title of the book is ‘Edge of Obathia’ so this is the very last page and a half of the book. Everything inside of the *stars* is Elohim speaking to Page’s heart and mind, calming her fears. Anything in caps is what her fear is telling her. Let me know your thoughts, thanks! God bless!
“Do you remember snow days in England?” I laughed. “We would be so excited each morning it would snow, and the night before we would be fervently praying for snow. Now…oh well, now all that excitement is bloody gone.”
“Ah, yes.” Job sighed. “This trip has certainly changed many things for us.”
I smiled as I thought of the serene calm flowing through me. Yes, I knew there’d be danger ahead. Yes, I knew there’d be peril. But I was not afraid. I had the love of Elohim in me.
*The Lord is your light and salvation—so why should you be afraid? The Lord is your fortress, protecting you from danger, so why should you tremble? I have loved you and protected you all the way, Corsorvia. I will love you and protect you the rest of the way, too.*
I heard the small voice in my mind, never anything but a peaceful whisper. Meanwhile, the voice of fear always shouted in my mind.
I CAN’T DO THIS. CLOAKERS WILL ATTACK ME, OR I’LL FALL IN ANOTHER LAKE AND SURELY DROWN THIS TIME! I CAN’T DO THIS! I CAN’T DO THIS!!!
Still the whispering voice came like a soothing blanket.
*Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Do not fear them, for the Lord your God is the one fighting for you. The Lord will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you. They shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but mine. Lay your burdens down with me! and I will take care of you. I will not permit the godly to slip and fall.*
Tears came to my eyes as I answered Job quietly, “Yes. Yes they have.”
He slipped his hand into mine and squeezed it. He knew what I was hearing. He had heard it many times, too.
“What has changed for you?” I asked him, swiping at my eyes.
He let out a heavy breath. “I’ve only just begun to see the way Elohim sees; even though I took this journey years upon years ago.” He seemed to pause before adding, “I’ve also realized that those I love are always closest to me, no matter where I am.”
This stopped all the voices I was hearing and almost stopped me. I tried not to hope for what that meant, but what could I do to help it? I kept walking, and tripped over nothing. “Woah!” He said, leaning over and offering me his hand. “Are you alright?”
My face went red. “Yes.” I helped myself up, brushing snow off my parka. “Not sure what caused that.”
Job grinned, raising an eyebrow. “I might.”
I set my hands on my hips and glared at him. “You wish.”
“I won’t deny it.” His answer caught me off guard and I tried not to show it.
“Let’s not get cheeky.”
“You say cheeky, I say honest.” The look on his face was sincere. I could only hope my own expression portrayed calm. My heart was beating wildly fast. “Ellie May interrupted me, and I intend to finish what I started.” He took a step closer.
My mouth fell slightly open as I whispered his name. I didn’t get to finish my sentence before his strong hands were gently holding my neck, his lips pressed against mine.
We were kissing.
I was kissing Job.
JOB was kissing ME.
I had wanted to for years. It felt perfect, as if we were made for this moment. The moment his lips touched mine, my brain very nearly exploded and the air was smashed out of my lungs. My knees were weak and my hands trembled. All my senses seemed elevated, but I could barely think.
To stop my hands from trembling, I slid them up his head and tangled my fingers in his long hair. He slid his foot forward just half a step, tilting his head. I took in a shaky breath through my nose and leaned into him. He assaulted my senses; the taste and smell of him closer to me than ever before left me wanting more and more. His caress on my neck was gentle but his kisses were rough and unapologetic, showing he had wanted this for a while.
And so had I.
My knees were about to give and I clung to him for dear life. Sheer delight shot through me as his hands glided down my body to the small of my back, then to my hips, sending shivers down my spine. The world (if there was one, because it seemed like only he and I existed as we stood there kissing for what felt like an eternity) was spinning around me like the tumbling cycle on a dryer. But his strong arms wrapped around my waist and held me tightly. I knew he wouldn’t let me fall.
I nodded my head, deepening the kiss, showing him how much I needed him. He responded with a soft groan at the back of his throat. He drew me closer.
Minutes later, he slowly pulled away as the sound of rushing water suddenly became known to us. I had been so caught up in the kiss I hadn’t heard the roar of the waterfall we both turned to look at. I held him a little tighter, staring at the monstrous outpour of icy water. “J-job…” I whispered. For some reason, it felt dangerous to speak at normal volume. “Where are we?”
He looked at the waterfall like it was much more than it was. He replied in the same soft tone I had used. “We made it to our first benchmark, Page.” He swallowed.
“We’ve reached the edge of Obathia.”
I’m a young writer and I’ve never been kissed. This is my first attempt at writing a kissing scene and I wanted to know what some other people think that aren’t my friends lol
I slowly walked to the doors and placed my sweaty palm on the doorknob, turned it, and pulled it open aggressively. When it swung open I saw Flynn standing there with his hand up like he was about to knock. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours. Neither one of us was sure what to say. He came in and closed the door behind him, slowly. I noticed him taking turns between looking me in the eyes and looking at my lips.
“Hi-” I started to say something but when I blinked something made contact with my lips. I opened my eyes wide and saw Flynn, his eyes closed and relaxed like we were a married couple that has been doing this for years. All at once, it was like I was feeling, tasting, and seeing every color of the rainbow at the same time. My heart skipped a beat, and my hands got hot and sweaty. My emotions were so tangled, no comb could straighten them. He wrapped his strong arms around my waist and rested them on my hips. The kiss had enough power to force Flynn’s back up against the closed door. We stood with our bodies forced together against it as our lips were pressed into one.
He pulled away from me and I stood with my hands relaxing on his chest. I stared into his deep brown eyes and he stared back, lovingly. He leaned his head down and kissed me again. This time, his lips didn’t separate from mine for a long time. They were warm and soft. I tangled my hands into his silky smooth ginger hair. When I pulled back for air, he smiled. No one said anything, but nothing needed to be said. I just hoped it wasn’t just a dream. Without moving off of him, he searched for the doorknob with his free hand. I untangled one of my hands from his hair and placed it on his.
“I’ll let you know,” I whispered.
He picked me up and carried me to my bed. When he gently threw me down, we sat next to each other. Just like I had hoped, he kissed me once again, stopping repeatedly for gasps of air. I felt him grab my knee like he needed help not falling over. He pressed his lips against mine with a fiery passion. I felt like I was in a Disney movie. I felt alive again. Like my parents still had their apartment, and my grandpa was still alive. This was my home, next to Flynn. The last thing I remember was combing my hand through his soft hair and him whispering to me:
“I love you,”
Quote: This helps allow the reader to experience the shock of an unexpected peck.
A peck? A measly PECK? You read something of this caliber and that’s how you describe it?
A little further along, quote: Who would of expected that…
“would HAVE” — and this, on a website purporting to dispense advice?
Please don’t judge!
Jayla grabs my hand. I turn to her, eyebrows raised.
“What?” I ask. She flinches.
“I… Kagen… I… really like you.” She holds her breath, eyes not daring to meet mine. I straighten, and she takes my silence as a bad thing. Jayla shrinks away, shaking her head. I put out my hand to stop her from leaving.
“You like me?” It’s the only thing I can think to say. My mind is buzzing with thoughts. Then a small smile curls the corners of my lips up. I lift her chin with my finger, and pull her face towards mine. Our lips connect, hers warm and soft. I move my hand behind her neck and pull her closer, deepening the kiss. She places her hand in my hair, curling her fingers into it so she sends shivers racing down my spine. We brake away too soon. Her cheeks are rosy and her eyes are shining. I want to say something, but my mind is blank. Then, with a small smile, she scurries of.
I’m trying to write a romantic book where a couple struggle to survive because of an abhorrent war. How does this paragraph sound?
As Peter approached Layla, Layla began to shy away. “It’s ok.” Peter reassured. Layla stepped out of the shadows, and held Peter’s hand tightly. “Are you sure they’re gone?” Layla asked, searching the dark alley. “Yes,” Peter replied. “I’m sure.” Layla sighed. She laid her hand on Peter’s face, and then hugged him. “Thank you,” she said, motioning for a kiss. She placed her hand gently on Peter’s face, and then brought his face close to her’s. Then, she reached in for a kiss. Her pale, swollen lips gently brushed against Peter’s lips. Then, Layla nudged her lips closer to Peter until they finally kissed. People gathered around and cheered. The sky cleared away the thick layer of smoke. The war was finally over.
I’m trying to become a writer but have never been kissed before, so bear with me!
The world awakened as I wondered, staring as she flew, bounding through the forest like a doe. Her hands were flown out beside her as she danced through the rain, smiling at me through her sorrow. “Parch! Come here,” she beckoned, twirling around as she laughed. I slowly approached her, smiling unsurely as I stumbled about. “How can you be still while the world is so alive?” she cried, taking my hand and spinning me about. I hesitated, why, still today I do not know. She frowned, releasing me. “How can it be that you still are embarrassed with me?” I shook my head. “I’m not embarrassed, I’m just-“ “Then dance!” she laughed, shaking her head full of shiny wet hair. I sighed. What was I truly afraid of? Hurting my pride? She was right, I was a cowardly thing. But I wanted to please her, I guess that’s why I did it. I began to dance, twirling and spinning with her, my arms stretched wide as I began to sing. I was there, with her, and I would remember that moment for the rest of my days. In my mindlessness I stumbled, falling to the wet leaves of autumn. “Parch!” she shrieked, appearing at my side. “I’m ok-“ I started, before she lay down next to me. “Look at the sky,” she sighed, stretching her hands out as though if she tried hard enough she could grab the clouds and weave them into some beautiful dress. She then grabbed my hand. “Parch, you are unlike any boy I have ever met.“ Her eyes met mine. “ What do you mean?” I slipped my hand out of her’s, propping myself up under my elbow. “You, my friend, are afraid of me.” She laughed once more, sitting up herself. “A-afraid?” I sputtered, bilking out the rain. “Yes! You are. Or at least, if falling in love. Or perhaps to lose someone again.” “Again?” I looked at her. “Yes. Yes, I believe that is why you haven’t let down your guard. You are scared of accepting me, only to lose me. And suddenly I knew she was right. “But I won’t let you go, Parch Grant. I will keep you if you keep me.” And I knew she would. I nodded. She leaned into me, her breath sweet as the falling autumn rain. I squeezed my eyes shut, holding my breath. I didn’t know what this would bring, what this would mean- and then she kissed me. Her lips brought forth a marvelous firework of protection, of care. Her hand held my face as I relaxed, kissing her back. And the we broke apart, held by that moment until the end of all time.
This is my first attempt at a kissing scene. I’d love to know someone else’s feedback on it!
An arm strong and gentle stole about Katelyn’s waist, pulling her towards him. Liam’s hands gently grabbed her slender waist. She fit perfectly in his arms. The warmth of his touch drew her closer. So close she could feel his soft breath against her cheek. His eyes were a magnet the desire in his eyes drawing her towards him. Liam’s fingers brushed her cheek. She flinched at his touch. For an instant, he hesitated, afraid that she might pull away. Then, leaning towards him, she surrendered herself to him. His eyes searched her face in a questioning gaze. Her expression held no reserve or hesitancy, only perfect trust, and tender love. As Liam pulled her close, her hands slid up his chest around his neck. A shy, gentle touch. His gaze traveled to her lips. He glanced into her eyes, silently asking permission. She nodded. Tender and affectionate, his hand caressed her cheek. Willing herself to stop trembling, she leaned into him. Slipping his hand under her chin, Liam drew her lips towards his. She yielded to his touch as if the whole world melted away in the embrace of his arms. His lips brushed hers. The touch was hesitant. A tremor ran through her body. The rush of warmth surged through her, drawing every sense towards him in that impassioned moment. She pressed her mouth to his, the sensation of his lips against hers assaulting her senses. His left hand glided up from her waist to the small of her back, pressing her body to him.
Liam held her in his arms, willing the moment to go on forever. He felt her longing, reserve, and passion, melt away in the safety of his arms. He drew back, their lips parting, but he didn’t let go of the delicate frame. Her heart beat against his chest. She was his. So small, so weak. And in that moment he swore to protect her from every pain and heartbreak he could keep her from. He would love this girl for eternity.
Brushing back her hair, he kissed her forehead and whispered to the angel he held in his arms, “I love you.” He spoke in low, tender tones, his eyes saying far more than his words.
Katelyn’s voice was soft but unhesitating. “I love you too, Liam,” she murmured shyly.
Listen, I love your insight. And it’s right. Yes! It really is. The stages are okay. It’s just that the examples used have to be the most boring kissing scenes.
They focus more on before and after the kiss instead of emotions during the kiss. Which I find a bit boring.
Maybe it’s not the vibe I’m looking for.
The first kissing scene is like, yes a surprise but, it’s as if a fish out of water (literally). those tongues flip and they flop and they wiggle. GHAADD!
The next kiss is like the character couldn’t wait to get it over with then buttered it up with a bunch of nice words. Like how you’d describe a nice soup that you’re not really in the mood to have.
But personally, I did like the stages you put out. It makes writing more of a science but it does give some more insight. So thank you.
I am a young author and I am writing hate-to-love romance for the first time. I would love a few tips on this scene.
The setting is that they are lying side by side on a bed while Ethan reads a book to Skye.
Please, i’d like your comments on this.
Suddenly he became very aware of their position, there on the bed, under the sheets.
Ethan’s gaze slid to Skye, who looked back.
‘Only … Only if you want it,’ he said uncertainly.
‘Kissing a prince is not on my to-do list, mind you,’ she replied flatly. Ethan blushed violently and turned away from her, holding the book in front of his face as best he could.
‘Did I embarrass you now?’ said Skye.
‘You’re mean,’ he said. He swatted at her with the book before hiding behind it again. She laughed softly.
‘Well, kissing a prince may not be on my to-do list, but…’
Ethan’s heart skipped a few beats as she pushed his book down. The lump in his throat widened as Skye’s face came closer. He stiffened completely and didn’t dare move a fin, afraid of doing something wrong and thus breaking the magic of the moment. He knew nothing more and then just waited, completely overwhelmed.
‘Only if you want,’ she whispered, her lips even more a few millimeters from his. He felt her warm breath brush past him and get lost in the storms of her eyes.
Of course he wanted it, with all his body and all his heart. But his yes came out in the form of a choked squeak, since his throat was completely constricted.
She smiled and leaned in even further.
Ethan’s heart thudded against his ribs and his head exploded.
Skye’s mouth was surprisingly soft. She smelled of the crisp night air and the stars, if that made any sense. Electric shocks slid down his spine, obscuring his thoughts.
The one, scattered particle of his brain that still made an attempt to work told him to do something.
Ethan flung the book away, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, answering the kiss passionately. Skye put her hands flat against his chest and pushed him down on the bed. He gasped against her lips, displacing all thoughts, and let his hand slide into her raven-black hair. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss. Their surroundings became a blur until only Skye was there, the girl he loved.
She tugged at the hem of his shirt, whereupon he sat up straight for a moment to pull it off, catching his breath in the process. As soon as he had it off Skye kissed him again. He let himself fall back into the sheets. It all happened naturally, as if it was meant to be. It wasn’t hard to believe that, either.
His hands slid to her vest and unbuttoned it.
He couldn’t care less about the consequences. It made them feel good to be able to be bad.
He had jumped off the cliff.
All he could do now was hope there was a safety net.
Terrific article, and very interesting comments. A very important thing is missing, though. Consent. It’s so important (and sexy!) to ask for permission to touch another person. I’m not sure why it’s left out here – maybe because the examples are from older novels – but there are so many reasons why touching another person without their permission can harm them. If we want to see more compassion, respect, and healthy sexual relationships in the world, we as authors, need to model them. It doesn’t “kill the mood” to ask to touch or kiss or anything else – harming someone with your touch kills the mood far worse.
Thank you for the tip! I will see what i can do
Sorry if this is even worse. I am a bit nervous when writing stuff like this and most of the time i just hope its not stupid or childish. But anyway, here is the fixed version of it. I hope it is better.
Suddenly he became very aware of their position, there on the bed, under the sheets.
Ethan’s gaze slid to Skye, who looked back.
‘Only … Only if you want it,’ he said uncertainly.
‘Kissing a prince is not on my to-do list, mind you,’ she replied flatly. Ethan blushed violently and turned away from her, holding the book in front of his face as best he could.
‘Have I embarrassed you now?’ said Skye.
‘You’re mean,’ he said. He swatted at her with the book before hiding behind it again. She laughed softly.
‘Well, kissing a prince may not be on my to-do list, but…’
Ethan’s heart skipped a few beats as she pushed his book down. The lump in his throat widened as Skye’s face came closer. He stiffened completely and didn’t dare move a fin, afraid of doing something wrong and thus breaking the magic of the moment. He knew nothing more and then just waited, completely overwhelmed.
‘Only if you want,’ she whispered, her lips even more a few millimeters from his. He felt her warm breath brush past him and get lost in the storms of her eyes.
Of course he wanted it, with all his body and all his heart. But his yes came out in the form of a choked squeak, since his throat was completely constricted.
She smiled and leaned in even further.
Ethan’s heart thudded against his ribs and his head exploded.
Skye’s mouth was surprisingly soft. She smelled of the crisp night air and the stars, if that made any sense. Electric shocks slid down his spine, obscuring his thoughts.
The one, scattered particle of his brain that still made an attempt to work told him to do something.
Ethan flung the book away, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, answering the kiss passionately. Skye put her hands flat against his chest and pushed him down on the bed. He gasped against her lips, displacing all thoughts, and let his hand slide into her raven-black hair. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss. Their surroundings became a blur until only Skye was there.
Suddenly she pulled back. She looked at him breathlessly, and for a moment he had no idea of time or place. ‘Is … Sorry, I’m too quick.’ She wanted to scribble straight already.
‘No, it’s okay,’ he said, before he knew it.
She stiffened. ‘Seriously?
‘I wouldn’t say it otherwise,’ he smiled. He had never seen her so shy.
‘I-I’ve just never really done this before-you know…’
“Do you trust me?
She hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. He realized how hard this had to be, after Leo and all the things that had happened. He let his hand slide down her neck and kissed her again, but more quietly, more calmly. He felt her relax. He leaned back a little.
“Sure? I understand if you’re…’
‘Yes, yes I’m sure.’
‘Okay.’
She tugged at the hem of his shirt, whereupon he sat up straight for a moment to take it off, catching his breath in the meantime. As soon as he had it off Skye kissed him again. He let himself fall back into the sheets. It all happened naturally, as if it was meant to be. It wasn’t hard to believe that, either.
His hands slid to her vest and unbuttoned it.
He couldn’t care less about the consequences. It made them feel good to be able to be bad.
He had jumped off the cliff.
All he could do now was hope there was a safety net.
Your examples suck, two were about underage characters, one involved way too much tongue propaganda, and the others were just boring to read. Maybe next time try reading a book by a woman and not an incel from the 1920s.